9-11-2021....20 years later

 I lived through that day and have chosen to not relive the horror.  I choose to remember the power of moms I experienced that day.

In 2001, my last child was in his freshman year at The Ohio State University and my 4 daughters were living their lives wherever.  I was still running a daycare business out of our home to supplement the budget for the kids in college.

I received a quick and urgent call from my daughter, Jocelyn, who was at work.  "MOM!  Quick.  Turn on TV!  A plane has flown into one of the World Trade Tower."  I hurriedly did so and watched what I thought was the plane flying into the tower only quickly to learn that it was the second plane hitting the second tower LIVE.  Like the rest of the world, I was stunned.

I gathered my little wards together and kept them busy, away from the television screen as I would look in now and again to see what was being said.

My tender memories of that day are not about the horrors we watched for hours and rehashed for days.  I was the continual phone calls I took from the moms of those sweet innocent children in my care.  Moms who just needed to know the kids were safe and sound staying with me.  Oh yes, they knew they were but in the basic nature of mothers they needed to hear their voices, learn what they were doing.

But one mom, in particular, moved me that day.  I had charge of one little girl, and held the protective custody right of her aunt and uncle and father...the important responsibility to keep her safe from her mom.  Not that the mom was a bad woman, just that she had problems and even the police knew to drive past my home periodically to be sure we were all safe.  I was feeding all the kids their lunches at the kitchen table at 809 which has a window that looked out to the driveway.  I saw this particular mom walking up the driveway very slowly.  I grabbed my phone and I grabbed her daughter in my arms.  I opened the back door and she stood a few feet back  She said, "I am not here to hurt her or you but I just had to come and see for myself that she's OK."  This mom had worked at the Federal Building in Cleveland and as with all federal employees she was sent home.  Her first stop was at my home.  "I assure you it's ok.  I've talked with XXX who has given me permission to come...you can call him if you don't believe me but I promise you, he said it would be OK."  I believed her.  I knew the love she had for this little girl and I knew she wouldn't hurt her child but I did tell her I could dial the police really fast.

But this mom, like all the other moms who called me as Jocelyn called me...this mom just needed to be with her child and hold her and kiss her... like so many other moms, wives, sisters would have loved to have done with their own children who had died in the fiery results of hatred.  

Nope...this day I choose to not relive that day in 2001 but to remember the love of mothers.

Mourning

 “She longest lives, who most to others gives, herself forgetting.” Mourning Cassie on PBS Unforgotten.

This is a difficult day for me. Thanks to Walter Phelps who sent me a video of Elvis singing Can't Help Falling in Love...and that made me cry all the more.

That above quote was on the tombstone for Cassie, who surprisingly died on the season finale of Unforgotten on PBS. I will be sad she's not around anymore, previously she just was retiring, but they killed her off. I loved the quote and thought that of all my friends, it sure fits Kitty...but she'd better keep living longer.

I went to visit Patsy today and it was flat-out awful. I know this is the end of her life experience but it is so hard to see her. She is all bunched up on her bed, with a bolster around her to keep her from falling off the bed which she did last weekend (and the bruising is still very evident). She's also cold, always has been but worse now. I added another double layer to her covers and within 5 minutes she was too hot. She calls out "HELP ME, PLEASE HELP ME" all the time. She can no longer eat other than having her food liquify and even then she doesn't always eat. She cannot walk any longer, nor can she sit up. She wants to go to the bathroom but isn't able and doesn't understand she's in briefs or diapers. I just bought 4 huge boxes of briefs for her from Amazon and now will be returning them. I cannot even put into words how dead she looked, dead but not dead. She didn't recognize me and it almost looked like she wasn't seeing me. I leaned in close and talked with her. I told her Johnny and Jeffrey were waiting for her and she could go to them any time. She looked at me intently and asked, "are you sure they are waiting?" I reaffirmed that they are indeed waiting for her.

 Aug 3, 2021..and this was good.

Apparently, she calls out for some Any and a Josephine, I told the nurse that we are relatives and there are no Amy nor Josephine in our lines.

On the way home I called her dear friend, Sharon, to give her an update. I told her previously to not come and visit Patsy but to remember her as she used to be and I repeated this again today. She agreed that would be best. By the time I drove into the garage I was really crying.

I understand death and I understand we all have to die. But it is just so awful to see this in Patsy. On top of that Auntie Carol calls me all the time and usually she has no idea where she is or why she is in the house she's in, At other times she comes to a bit of her senses and asks why she cannot remember how everyone has died. Two days ago I kept hearing this noise. Of course she didn't hear anything. Then it dawned on me what it was. I asked her if she was making herself a cup of tea. She said, 'no'. I asked her to walk into the kitchen and see if her whistling tea kettle was one. And it was. That was the noise...whistling I heard. She said, "Oh I guess I must have been making tea." That is very frightening. I wish Richard understood what his mom needs and it's NOT living by herself, alll alone!

So it's a sad day but I pray that the Lord wants her home soon and that her fighting spirit finally fights to move on. I hope I don't get to this point and if I do, I want to remind myself to let go......

Deep Cleaning at the Lorain Ward Chapel

 We moved to Sheffield Lake, on a Monday in September 1976.  By the weekend we decided we ought to find our way to the meeting house as well as to see what our new chapel looked like.  We pulled into the parking lot and it looked like an army of ants everywhere, inside and out.  All the members with their families were cleaning everywhere...even the ditch that runs along the south side of the property.  Back then there was just the Primary area, the hall leading to that, and the foyer and the new chapel that was just built the year previously.  And everyone looked so happy.

Today our ward had another deep cleaning day after the COVID shut up.  Over 40 people showed up ad they were just like 1976...all happy to be cleaning.  It was a sight to behold.  I was busy washing and drying all the silverware and didn't get pictures of everyone.  I had gone out with the RS presidency 2 weeks previously to purge the kitchen of all the junk that people dump there or forgotten there.  We were given permission by the Bishop to throw out the china that was there in 1976 when we arrived but I only remember ever using it for dinners one time and I think that was in 1976.  It was very therapeutic.

On Wednesday, the YM and bishopric cleaned out all the cupboards down the hall and emptied out all the junk.  Useable stuff was placed on tables in the cultural hall, free for the taking.  Even the library was emptied out which shocked me.  Apparently 'someone' from higher up sent out a list of what is 'allowed' in the library.  Everything else had to go.  That included the full set of History of the Church by Joseph Smith.  What?  The bishop said it had been updated.  Ah..Um...really?  The history written by The Prophet Joseph was updated?  200 years after he was martyred?  Wow!  Interesting.  Oh well...not for me to question.

YW Presiden Danni Amato dumps

Isaac Eddington and David Ludlow take a lunch break

 Sister missionary 'vacuumed' the burlap on the walls

  Tamara Dunn worked like a house afire to get this old fridge scrubbed and shiny...took her hours!

  Nila Eddington, Primary president, took a break to contemplate what else she could toss

Another sister missionary gets ready to vacuum the foyer and vestibule carpet

The nearly emptied church library.  A lot of books were taken by members which is a good thing

Robert Hatch and Joel Stoklosa chat during pizza break.

 As this sister missionary figured out this small floor scrubber, she had plenty of smiles to encourage herself and others.

                                                                            Pizza break time...

  Poor Richard took the nasty job of cleaning out all the stinky, stuck-on garbage cans

                                        Ben Stoklosa and Jonathan and James Eddington enjoy pizzas.

                       Darryl May used the power washer to clean all the outside bricks and gutters

Anna Gardner had bought her own, woman handled power washer and brought it to clean off the walkways

Our exhausted librarians, Larry and Phyllis Kimmel

Sydney May and Danni cleaning the YW windows

                                                               Karen May walking out

Christy Marshall dumps more stuff in the former scout room.  The dumpster outside was fille to overflowing so this room held the next back. Robert Hatch went out a week later to put all this junk into the empty dumpster.  He's such a servant.

                       Pam Roberts and Marcia Harrison enjoy a break in the spotless kitchen!

This is the board at the end of the 3 hours.  Initially, all the chores were posted and we took an assignment and completed it and then added it to the finished pile.  The few items you see scattered above are actually completed by the organizations leaders.  Job well done!

New Family Czekalas

 Jocelyn had made contact a few years ago with David Czekala and during the Christensen's most recent vacation they had a mini family reunion/picnic.  Jocelyn invited me to find DiAn on FB and we did and I cannot say how thrilled I am to have lots of text time with her.  I'm learning more about one side of my family.  DiAn suggested I friend Mike which I have also done.

I love it that DiAn is a faithful child of God and that we can share the common belief we have in Him and talk about things of import, not just silly FB fluff

She has mentioned maybe getting a picnic together next summer.  Wouldn't that be just glorious?  I know that my Heavenly Father is all about families, here in mortality and beyond death to the next life.  And this connection here is proof!

Art and Cousin Camp

 Jocelyn said:  Sent two of my little ones away to camp this week...(Art Camp for Honor and Granny Cousin Camp for Val) and I like how my mom and sister are sending ME play by play texts, so *Mommy* doesn't get home sick for her babies!! So far they are absolutely not missing me, but having the time of their lives! Look at their happy, adventurous faces! Thanks. Susan Jane Hatch and Marissa Hatch

What a crazy week.  We always had the one set of 'twin' cousins, Oskar and Honor but now we have a young set of 'twin' cousins, Simon and Val.

Honor jumps off the board at Lakewood Park Pool.

Oskar and Honor together, conspiring and having a blast.

Playing the Wii til it broke...

 

Honor didn't seem to mind that Jinx jumped right up on her lap during dinner.

I instructed Honor in the art of sewing on a machine...she sews by hand usually.  She made 7 of these 

buskets for her family, herself and a best friend.

   

Hot Tub for Si and Val

Si and Val enjoying Marc's and all the lovely treasures they selected.

 

Lunch time...or was it after dinner and hot tub treat...RB floats

Jinx was desperate to get to  Si's sloth, Lavender.

Val could lift Si but....

Si could NOT lift Val.  Si asked, "hey, how much do you weigh?"

 

the boy mixed up the pancake batter for breakfast

There's nothing like playing with their grandpa (bubba to Si and papa to Val)

They all had a lovely week together and with all the fun and games.  I was surprised that Val didn't need his mom until the very last night.  He was very happy to get home to his family and his own things.

Robert and I, mostly I, are totally whipped.  This is why God gives kids to younger parents.

but on that statement, altho I cannot post pictures, Cara and Jacob are fostering 2 sweet little girls, 5 and y years old.  If it comes to adoption they will increase our grands to 23!  Til then I just plan to think of them as my grands.

New desk for Susan

 Last Saturday, having missed 2 of the Brownhelm Historical Society rummage sales, Robert and I finally got to the $2/bag sale...I went specifically for a cake stand which was the highlight of the last one and Robert went to view the historic school building that the BHS is rehabbing.  On my way out I passed this amazing oak desk for $200 but I don't have that in my budget  Later while talking with Susan Hansen she asked if I offered a lower price. I am not a haggler so 'no'.  She works with the society and offered $100 and they were overjoyed.  Then I needed to find a truck and some strong people.  Guess who came through? Jocelyn!

Jocelyn was driving up to get her kids and said she could remove her van's seats and I felt the desk would fit.  I took Honor to Marissa's last day of Art Camp and Robert met Jocelyn and Guy and voila:

So now I have my very own desk.  Dawn reminded me that I HAD a desk in the kitchen until we remodeled.  She was correct but I was still without a desk.  Now I have this beauty...solid oak, the 7 drawers glide in and out.  No old smell.  It's perfect.  I used a special cleaner/restorer on it and it gleams so lovely. I am thrilled.

just wondering

 Just now as Marissa goes up against Hank again for another mediation session this afternoon with a pretrial tomorrow (and don't ask me what that means) I posted this on my FB page.

I doubt I am more anxiety-ridden than Marissa but it sure seems that I am.  But interestingly as soon as I posted this on FB all mine disappeared...well OK..there's a spot left.  I have a group of friends that I usually ask to join in prayer but I really think that Marissa's got this today.  If she does then all will be well.

Robert continues to say Marissa will be so much better very soon.  Really, who needs to be anchored to someone who doesn't believe, has no faith, has lost his kindness.  Anchoring to Christ may be lonely for a while but so much lighter and peaceful.  We just need to get through today.  And then tomorrow and then Wednesday.  All lin good time.  She is strong...stronger that I would be.  

I hope this for all people going through this in their own way.  Breathe.  Remember who strong you are and you will rule the day!  Day by Day.