Tuesday, March 05, 2013

A Week like none others and then a Testimony (or 2)

It seemed like last week was full and boring, easy and difficult, a blessing and a cursing, a lot of opposites.  Happily my colonoscopy turned out totally clean so I remain on the 5 year plan.  It seems like yesterday when my mom was diagnosed and she forced me to begin this ordeal.  The day before, as many of you know, is not a joy.  This time the use of propofol made me know why it was Michael Jackson's drug of choice....nice way to fall asleep and nicer way to awake.

Robert had said he had to go to Elyria Ward on Sunday..drats.  Then Jordan called to say he and family were coming up for 24 hours--Saturday night til Sunday night.   I suddenly decided he was going to come to tell me had gotten another job in Florida.  I would have preferred it if he had just called me with the news so that I wouldn't cry in front of him.  Because my mom always did that when I left for each school  year (really sobbed and I felt terrible) I determined I might be sad but would not cry (at least not much) in front of my kids.  Then as usual, I got all worked up.  THEN Robert announced he WAS going to Elyria after all....GRRRR...not thrilled because we had invited M2T2 to join us for lunch and dinner.  PLUS, Cara's pains from the knees down is way worse and she emailed us all and asked us to fast for her and her attempts to find a good doctor who could help her since 6 doctors had not.  We know it's NOT her previous RA situation. This is totally different.  And a bit scary.  I told Robert I'd save a plate for him.

Jordan and Hillary and their 2 wonderful wee ones arrived late Saturday night.  It was SO good having them here and they announced they were not here to announce they were moving (yay) yet  nor are they pregnant again (darn).  They  just wanted to come up and meet M2T2's Oskar.  How lovely is that?!

Sunday morning dawned and Robert got set to leave.  As he went to the car, I suddenly realized that Jordan had parked his car behind the Prius which is what Robert takes when he had to go on trips farther than the distance to church (which means I must take his stinky, smelly, filthy truck which I really do not like to drive).  I raced down the steps in bare feet, into the garage to remind Robert of this. Robert's response?  "What car?  Where?"  I knew it...he would not have looked back as he backed out.  Then he insisted he could drive around it...which he could not. I insisted that he wait and ran back in to get Jordan's keys.  Coming back through the garage, I noticed Robert had indeed tried to get out but luckily stopped.  A bit frustrated I commented to no one in particular, "Does he think I'm stupid?" only to discover the passenger window was down and he had heard me. So I repeated, "Really, I'm not stupid.  You could not have gotten around Jordan's car."  I moved Jordan's car, waited for Robert to back out and leave.  He backed out but didn't leave.  He motioned to me and so I walked over (in bare feet and in a trace of snow) to hear sweet Robert say, "You're not stupid, you're too sexy for the car."  I chuckled and went in to ready myself for church, grateful I have such a wonderful husband.

I get into that stinky, smelly, filthy truck and started off for church.  Since the testimony meeting in February which was anything BUT, I have been on a quest to be sure I had one, and how to express it.  If moved, I would rise today and express my beliefs.  I noticed there were quite a number of cops along Lake Road and so I made certain I was cautious in my driving.  I arrived close to Lakeview Park and suddenly there was a cop behind me with her flashers on.  I pulled over thinking...she must want to pass me and hurry off.  Nope, she wanted me.  Turns out I was driving this stinky, smelly, filthy truck which had expired tags...actually had tags which Robert had NEVER renewed since he bought the stinky, smelly, filthy truck.  I was amazed.  Not angry at him cuz these things happen. But it was Sunday and I needed to get the sacrament bread to church early, and pick up a copy of the donation statement from 2012 because Robert misplaced it again (twice last year), and drop our papers off at H&R Block after church, race home and get lunch ready for the family, etc., etc., etc.  I texted  Robert to tell him what had happened.  Texted Teri for her to tell Ethan I was coming but might be running late.  The cop comes back, and repeats the fact...expired tags.  I suggested she look at the front plates because one year Robert did put the new tag on the front, not the back.  She assured me she didn't have to, that she had called in and it was a fact.  Drats.

The worse part was this was a tow-able offense.  I looked at her and said, "I provide the bread for our Sacrament at church. Will you allow me to drive to church?"  She looked at me for a couple of seconds which seemed like a lot longer and then said, "Yes, I should be towing your truck but you can drive to church. Just get this taken care of immediately."  I promised and then drove to church, grateful I could drive to church and complete my assignment.  But my insides were in such a turmoil!

Yes, I still got up and bore my testimony and I am going to attempt to recreate what I said then so that I can remember and that perhaps someone out there might hear what I know. It may not be exact and I might have added things for me here that I would not have necessarily added Sunday....but the main ideas are there and this is basically what I said.   I hope it's not inappropriate.

Today I am grateful that I was allowed to come here today.  Since last month I have been reading and thinking about my testimony.  I know the things that are not to be said.  I know the things that are but as a BYU professor commented, in moments like this there's no problem with saying the same thing.  He went on to remind us that we attend the temple and hear the same things but if we have the right spirit we will benefit and be blessed.  I hope I have the right spirit now as I tell you what I know.
I know there is a God, a Heavenly Father who loves me.  And His Son, Jesus Christ, His oldest Son, also loves me.  Between the two of them, I know they love me and wait  in patience for me figure out what I need to figure out.  I feel this when I do the right things and when I do the wrong but repent.  And I am learning about the Holy Ghost. Friday Jill Pavic and I had a good discussion on the promptings we get and how often we comment how grateful we are that the Holy Ghost helped us when actually we need to verbalize that the Holy Ghost is doing the Father's bidding, the Son's bidding and all glory goes back to the Father.
I'd like to admit that I know some things but there has been one topic that I've had to deal with.  For years, altho all reason told me otherwise, I questioned if there was an after life.  I would ask Robert and naturally he would respond, Of course there is.  I don't know when or how Robert learned this but he's always known.  So I have talked the talk, hoping I could come to that knowledge.  As most of you know I care for my godparents (which if you are a convert like me, you might have such a blessing in your life...and my godparents most definitely have been a blessing in mine).  Now they are aging and I am their last relative.  I have the responsibility.  When I began, they were ready to die.  Now they are older and have decided they do not want to die, they are afraid.  One day Patsy expressed this and I started to talk the talk again.  I told her, "Of course there's a life after this and one day your son will come running to greet you (their only son, severely handicapped all his life died 20 years ago).  This I know!"  and in that instant I KNEW. Not like President Lorenzo Snow's experience when he said he felt he was enveloped by the Holy Ghost.  This time something started in the middle of my chest and seemed to crawl right up and out of my mouth.  I KNOW this to be truth, and I know it because it was confirmed to me by the Holy Spirit, doing the Father's bidding.  I am grateful I had Robert to lean on til I could walk on my own.
And lastly I want to promise you all one thing.  IF you will do all your callings, no matter how small; if you will do all your assignments, no matter how small, you will always be allowed to be here, here in  church.

I'd like to say that after  I sat down I was able to settle down, be calm, but sadly that was not to be.  I still felt all upset about that stupid ticket.  I am not sure I remember much after Sunday School...it was  a good lesson...but I just lost concentration after that.  I was grateful to go home and start lunch.  And lo, Robert walked into the kitchen as I was finishing up the food.  He had chosen to come home earlier than planned.  I think he probably knew I was in a state because he's so in tuned with me.  I needed him home.  And home he came!

After dinner, the kids wanted to see their old home, 809, since it was empty.  I texted Robin who turned out to be in California but she called me back and told me how to get the keys.  Isn't she wonderful?  And my kids had a ball with their kids (also my kids by the way) touring the old homestead.  Marissa said there were some tears.  I didn't go because I just couldn't bear to see my beloved home empty.  So I waited here with Oskar.  I learned about a collection of pet dust bunnies and I've never heard that story before:

From Marissa's FB page:
Visiting the old homestead, I was happy to share this little bit of family history- the loose floorboard in our bedroom that housed our pet dust bunnies! Still there, along with misc glitter, broken pencils, and packing peanuts. Your average dust bunny food.


"Yeah this place is reedy reedy awesome!" In the bathroom of my childhood home. Henry feels its magic.

There are more pictures and I'll add them if they are good and when I get them out of my camera.  So the weekend came to an end.  Good food, good chats, good kids, great grandkids.  Lessons learned.  Mountains climbed.  Robert has since renewed his tags.  I will pay my ticket but not happily.

We are alive and safe.  I have a testimony that I am happy to share and keep and grow.  Kids will grow up and leave home and occasionally come home and behave as if they were young again, from near or far.  And I almost thought it was time for someone else to bring bread...perhaps I need to rethink this because Last Sunday, I was allowed to attend church.  What feeling of pure joy and relief.....

4 comments:

Lin Floyd said...

welcome to life 101 advanced graduate work...lol!

LeAnn said...

This is one for a great journal entry. I loved your sweet testimony. I must say I know how you feel about getting the ticket for expired tags. I got pulled over one day with a Sister I was caring for on our Inner City Mission. Luckily, officer saw my missionary badge. He gave me a warning and then told me he wouldn't have my car towed if I went and got the tags immediately. I did!
What a weekend of events you have had.
Blessings to you!

Jocelyn Christensen said...

love that story!

Dawn Mercedes said...

and...tomorrow it starts all over!! haha

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