Wednesday, November 07, 2012

NOVEMBER 6, 2012

Yesterday was a very full day.  Election day did not even make the top item.  It ended up being what I thought and for the record again, let me remind myself that often we don't get to do or be what we want and yet long down the road, we will discover that the things we did do had a greater impact, hopefully for good, not ill.  America will survive and it will eventually fulfill its destiny.  Just not on this day.

I have 5 wonderful kids, raised them in a small home (you've either lived in, visited, or scene the pictures) and I love each of them, and now each of their own families. But as they were going away to college and growing up, I encouraged them to make their own homes in areas outside my personal Paradise.  They needed to find areas that offered their kids more than is offered here.  I always hoped they would remain close to us, come back and visit, enjoy the lake.  And for the most part it was the best and the right advice to have given.  Would I love to have them all a little bit closer?  Absolutely!  But I know that each family is getting what they need.  But oh how I would wish that in times like today, they all lived within 30 minutes of me.

Today, Marissa and Hank welcomed little Oskar Grey Trefethen into their home
 and we got to keep Henry for the day. This has never happened to me before.  I've been able to see the babies, a couple of times, helped out for a few days or few hours.  And that, too, is OK.  My girls, all 5, are very capable and good moms.  They have husbands who can help out as well.

I learned early on in my grandmothering experience that it's best to allow the initial core family time to BE.  Time to learn how to be the family God intended, without interference from the previous generation.  I try to tell this to my friends who never listen until AFTER and then they come home and say, Man!  Why did I not listen to you.

I thought about it again this last week as I talked with one of the girls.  Times change.  Back in the day when the grandma's showed up usually the dads were out in the fields working and the moms were at home, in a cabin/home coping with drawing water from a well, or lugging in firewood.  That's not the way it is anymore.   FOR THE MOST PART, the dads get maternity leave or is it called family leave?  They might save up their vacation time for that moment when a new babe arrives.  For the most part at least in my families, the dads don't work out of town/country.  Things are just different today.  I am grateful my families have always welcomed us whenever we came or visited.  Whether at a new birth, or later, or way later still.

 Henry gives the first of many gifts to Oskar....
We finally got Henry to hold this little bundle by bribing him with something to come.  You can see one of the 5 Hot Wheel cars that Oskar gave to his big brother as a please-welcome/love-me gift.  Oh yes, we do bribe our kids!

So it was very odd that I could actually be near enough to see a grandbaby within hours of birth.  And it probably won't happen again. The mere fact Marissa/Hank moved back to Lakewood from NYC was a surprise but I doubt they'll stay here long.  So for today, just today, I enjoyed the moment.  On top of that, Robert was on vacation and could enjoy it with me.

Now the waiting begins.  Well actually it continues.  Jocelyn is now overdue with her 4th. And we are so excited.  Sweet Guy, the master brother of that home, wrote the most loving letter to his soon-to-be new sister on FHE night. He told her how lovely and clean her home was, how she could grow up and become just like them, how they have a great yard to play in.  It was the sweetest and dearest letter ever but then again, it comes from Guy...why would it not be this way.

I am blessed.  I doubt I fulfill all my adult kids' expectations...gee...I don't fulfill my own!  I am not a travel-far-from-home sort of person.  I am not comfortable doing that altho I had hoped I would do that when I was young. But young I am not anymore.  I marvel at people like my friend Sophia who took on a whole other family to raise when she was not 20.  I am finding that at 63, I am very old and very tired, filled with aches and pains.  More doctor visits than I really expected.  More fears than I want to have. But life has been very good to me.

I wish all my friends/family could live in a tiny house as was 809.  As remarked upon by a man who we knew, who we had hired to finish off the back hall with workworking...'your kids all turned out so good because you lived in this small house and lived basically on top of each other, kknowing what everyone else was doing.'  Yes, initially I thought...Man!  what a smack down..but then I know the man. He's not smooth and his words often inflict something I am not sure he meant (altho at times, I know they are) and I opted in that moment to not be insulted but I remember them.  I remember them often when I see how wrong his family has gone, and then I am grateful we had a small home that we could afford. One we sadly relinquished and I often regret that.  But we sold it with high hopes that another family would find the same joy.  It now stands vacant and that creates such sorrow in my.  I tend, as you know, to apply human emotions to inanimate things.  One day 2 weeks ago, as I was returning home from dropping something off for Pam at her work, I drove right into the driveway at 809.  I was surprised that the gate was shut.  Then I wasn't my home anymore.  But AHA!  Susan!  It will always be your home in your heart and in your memories.  Just as this one at 3830 will eventually provide your own memories, and not just the ones we've already made with my folks. All is good.

Welcome new ones to our home.  Welcome old ones to our home.  Just plain WELCOME!


Lin Floyd said...

you have a marvelous loving family...congrats on the new grand babies!

Dawn Mercedes said...

Great set of ponderings..thanks for sharing...

Kate said...

Beautiful post, beautiful new babies. Congrats!

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