Brought my godfather home today. It was very windy and I was worried that he'd topple over. I had to insist that I would wheel him to the door...and THEN he could use the walker to get down the 4 steps. He was sure he could use the walker all the way from the car. Fat chance.
But I think he's really going to be tired now that he's home. Equally, he's thrilled to be home.
In the same rehap is my Aunt Bernice (Bea). I was able to spend about 30 minutes with her before Johnny was ready to leave. The aids had just put her into some sort of wheel chair that is like a bed that bends. She looked good old and thin. I have enjoyed her sense of humor and sharp tongue. I appreciate sharp tongues....probably because I have one; altho I try to keep it in check (what goes on in my head is not kept in check). Bea told me again that she has a lovely picture of my father that Jan will give to me. I can't wait. But I was teary-eyed when I left Bea.....I think it must be hard to know your home is being dismantled and you will not return there. Not ever again. I wonder...does she know she gets to return to that Heavenly Home from which we all came? That loved ones await her...even my very own father? Not all people know this....nor do they all believe it. But I do...and more and more I am ready to let go more willingly of this mortality....to regain what I had before with even greater abilities.
It's rather odd...this aging process. I know I am getting old. I know that I've missed asking my various relatives about stories I ought to know. When Aunt Ann died, my cousin Kathy told some wonderful stories about this side of my family. I was sad. I didn't have that sort of relationship but I certainly do honor that side of my family.
My father died when I was 4 months old (hence the amazing godparents!). My mom remarried and life went on. A couple of times I was able to spend weekends with my grandmother. Those cousins amazed me. They were amazing swimmers, great fast walkers and talkers. They loved having fun. But I was the outsider. It was OK. I didn't expect more.
But now, I wish I did. When Aunt Natalie got married my grandmother had crocheted these lovely shawls for all the relatives (well, not me) and I looked at these beautiful women and saw princesses. One of Natalie's girls got married. My mom and Roger got invited and I still have this great picture of all the family together with the bride/groom. My mom had great stories to tell about that night.
Jan had more to tell as we've talked by phone the past month or so. Saturday, I told her these stories needed to be written down. I would love my kids to hear them, even if I didn't live them. These are the treasures of lives well lived. The treasures that do not age.