Tuesday, June 29, 2010
I think working in the dining room got the better of Robert and he was thrilled to take the day off. We had breakfast at Lennie's diner in AL, then bought the 4 colors of paint, more mud, the blue tape, some sort of masking off paper. Hit Heinens for the Ghiradelli's sweetened cocoa so I can make David Hiles' Devil Cake. Then to Sam's club. Joyfully after killing time in Gander Mountain, Robert decided that we needed to go see Toy Story 3 in 3D.
I have to say that it is quite a violent movie for babes. It was amazing in intensity. You hate certain toys, love others, wait for the lessons. I'm surprised Cara took her kids to see it!
And then the tears...good grief, Susan! It was a movie, for pete's sake. But I had read in the July 2 issue of Entertainment Weekly (P. 24...but in another week, look for it online) Toy Story3: A Grown Man Weeps..."I realized how hard I was working to conceal my tears. I'm not just talking about shedding a tear or two, or having that Brian's Song lump in the throat. I'm talking about that soppy, awkward thing where you make sounds. "
That should have warned me...but it didn't. And who cared who heard my sounds, saw me sniffling all the way to the car (and for once Robert didn't have a hanky with him), and all the way home.
I think it's that I have reached this age. This Senior moment age. I remember my mom always crying when I left home for whatever. How I promised myself I would never do that to my kids...and until recently, I have been very successful. But now...I do race in and cry alone, not in front of the kids, never. Maybe Robert and I are the toys that are being left behind...maybe it's part of life and what is meant to be....but it's not a nice part of life.
I don't want to be given to someone else. I don't want to be left...altho I have been. And that IS a part of life.
But I also think I better understand people who can't get rid of stuff. I put emotions to inanimate things as well as my pets. I name our cars and then have a hard time when they need to be traded in. My THINGS are a part of my life, my days, my being. I had a shelf that Jordan made for me when he was a Cub Scout. I have used it always, til we moved. I put it aside for him and left it out for him to take this past weekend...but it's still here so I'm guessing it's not something he learned to care about...probably because he made it for me. So I will find another place for it...and remember a time long ago.
I have a baby doll crib that was mine when I was young. It used to reside in the attic at 809, having hoped my kids would have wanted it. I guess none did, cuz none were ever into baby dolls for long...so it's now here at 3830, currently under the grand piano. And by tonight I will assemble all my previous dolls and they will be set out to enjoy new life....as I remember old memories.
I love to repeat this story cuz it drives her crazy. Marissa once gave away a full set of Charmkins to a ratty neighbor next door...who promptly moved. I was heartsick in so many ways. But that emotion all came back as I watched the toys get dumped in the movie. I refused to allow her to give up the My Little Ponies nor the castle. They sit here waiting for Little Henry to enjoy them. Didn't boys play with ponies?
But for now, I will enjoy the memories of childhood and childhood toys...my kids' toys and my own.
Let me introduce a few of my beloved. That's Elizabeth in the far corner....the grown up doll with high heels and stockings (garter belt, et. al). I got her in California when we went in 1962. Yes I was a bit old for dolls, certainly by today's standards...but I loved her all my life. Cara used her to fashion some clothes for a middle school project after she went to Willamsburg. Elizabeth was on disply in a pink colonist dress and white apron..which I still have (and it's under the 'mattress' in this crib). Next to her on the right is a pink bunny...called June Bunny. This actually belonged to June, who I always felt ought to have belonged to me but she belongs to another family altho I cared for her for the first 6 years of her life, from 6 weeks on. And how I miss her. She loved June Bunny. I love both the Junes.
To Elizabeth's left is a teddy that belonged to Robert. Next to him is my teddy bear, which every insists is a dog. My teddy came into my life when I was a senior in high school, given to me by my grandmother when I was in a near-fatal car accident. He knows all my secrets and all my longings.
Sitting on my teddy's lap is a wee doll that I dressed up in this outfit the Christmas of 1972 to announce to my mom that we were having a baby, which turned to be Dawn. She's never been in another outfit and has lived in my dresser drawer all these years. In Robert's lap is a twin to the other wee doll. She actually probably belongs to my sister but has lived in my father Czekala's army suitcase...with clothes that actually belonged to a Ginny doll, and I still have the coveralls that belonged to Peter, (the link is to an ebay item that IS MY PETER) my Tiny Tears doll. His hair was coming off like a toupe but I still loved him forever....I also had a Susan Tiny Tears doll. But my mom was good at tossing things and I don't think I realized they were gone til long after they disappeared. I still hunt eBay now and again in hopes of being dumb enough to by a tiny tears doll as well as a Vogue Ginny doll...I don't but I remember them all fondly and somewhere I have pictures of them and will post them someday, too.
And here is my own Woody, from Toy Story 1. He was actually a McDonald's Happy Meal toy that another one of 'other' kids (Adam Stiver) found for me. If you look closely, you will see "SUSI" written on the bottom of his boot.
And lastly, here are other friends who mean a lot to me. I never liked Sesame Street much but I loved The Count and Oscar the Grouch. In front of them is a Weebles (they wobble but don't fall down). My kids had a tree set of Weebles but this one is the very first thing I ever bought from eBay. Do you see Pluto? This was the toy that kept Dawn quiet while in church...Dawn and all the other 4 kids. Pluto really got a work-out through the years. And beside him are a mommy/son dinosaur. Jordan thought he was Baby Circle, and I was always Momma Circle, dinosaurs both. We had our own special Circle calls to each other. I loved those memories and those times...and somewhere I found these dinosaurs which sat on the shelf above the kitchen sink at 809 for a long time....always reminding me that once I was a Mommy Circle and I had a Baby Circle.
Hopefully you will get to see Toy Story 3...but be sure to bring along some tissues if you are in anyway attached to a toy! Or a child who has grown...both up and away.