Wednesday, January 01, 2020

Happy New's to new beginnings and new joys

I had asked Marissa what I get for her that she would need (this after we had taken the boys and outfitted them for Ohio winter since Hank has no remembrance that boys grow up and out of their clothes, shoes, boots, etc nor that Ohio's winters are not like California's).

All Marissa replied was, A TIME MACHINE.  Obviously she wished she could turn back time and never have made Hank a part of her life.

Sadly that can never happen and without Hank we would not have her 3 amazingly wonderful and creative boys, Henry, Oskar, Simon.

So I figured I would give her a time machine of a different sort, one that would remind her of ALL the wonderful choices she made in her 40 years so that she can face her future with the knowledge and remembrances of her family that she has indeed done wonderful things, fun things, silly things...all the things that will see her through this ordeal til the end when new happiness grows. Til the future because so much more wonderful than the past.

I enlisted the aid of her siblings and combined all the comments on card stock paper that she could flip over as she needed some encouragement on her own.  Sadly I didn't get a really great still shot, was too busy making a video.  But here's a quick one:

Yes she cried while just reading the card before she even opened the box.  but that's OK.  We continue to pray that she will be strengthened, that the boys will be kept safe and will learn from her example and I particularly pray that Hank stays in CA and only comes home to visit (which is bad enough).

This is the picture I fashioned it after:

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

the last day of 2019

There's a lot I'd like to write but it's so painful.

Hank has turned so far to the dark side and has become more than evil.  It's almost frightening but I do know that the Lord has kept Marissa and the boys safe.  Hank arrived for Christmas, promising to take care of the boys but did NOTHING for or with them at all.  INSANE.  He barely fed them, he didn't play with them but only allowed them to play video games NONSTOP.  He was ugly and nasty with Marissa even right before she took him to the airport.  No clue why he didn't call an Uber.

He left Marissa to watch the boys when he was supposed to be tending them so she could work on a commissioned art work for a restaurant.  He went to Middleburg Hts 4 times for meds (like we believe that).  He FT'd his tootsie while in Marissa's home and called her nonstop.  He'd leave for walks so he could talk to her.  INSANE.

On Christmas Eve afternoon, having finally admitted to cheating on Marissa through hysterical sobs, he turned violent on his steering wheel and Marissa wisely darted out his car and ran to hers and drove to Bishop Klopp's home.

I was never so glad to have him gone. And yes I do hope he's figured out he cannot handle the boys and he really needs to stay in California with his new woman and her 4 kids.

I have worked very hard at trying to be like Jesus and to recognize that the Lord still loves Hank even if I would rather not have him in our lives.  I would like to think he would repent and return to the Lord but that's on Hank, not me.  I do have a problem with this if he were to repent, knowing the Lord would love him and take him back, and Hank would have no accountability in mortality for what he's done to this 'eternal' family...covenants he has disregarded.  I surprise myself in not hating him.  I feel I did well to just not think about him.

I want this marriage ended as fast as possible. I want Marissa to heal.  I want her to find a better man, one who is not mentally deranged.  But again, that's up to the Lord to direct and I will follow His lead.

Let's hope 2020 is much happier for Marissa and Henry and Oskar and Simon!

Saturday, December 28, 2019

Christmas with Marissa and her boys

We  were finally able to celebrate Christmas with the boys and Marissa after Hank returned to California (and I hope he stays there).  The  boys did great jobs in hunting for gifts especially needed for mommy. They came into the house late Friday night and ran right to the tree and were so happy to give their mom all her gifts.

It was SO SO SO great seeing them even if they were sick (but Robert and the EQPrez came and gave Marissa and Henry blessings and I went up to Rite Aid and bought all the OTC that could help, even new toothbrushes).

Thanks to Aunt Dawn and her friend, Amy, the boys got a treasure hunt and  wonderful gifts at the end.

Oskar spies the first clue...a little hesitant at first but....

then he 'kneeled' his way to read the clue.

Henry read the next clue

Simon got to the clue pretty quick too

Trying to think about a certain curtain took a couple extra seconds but to the bathroom they ran.


The clue in the red room took longer to find and there it was, right on the lampshade.

One clue took them outside.

the final clue took them out to the rock in front

After looking around the small laundry area, finally someone looked INSIDE the washer/dryers

WOW...inline skates and helmuts and pads!


But sadly, Oskar left Froggie here when he went home so we kept Froggie safe.

All the fur friends played with him, a la E.T.  Can you spy Froggie?

Froggie slept with me this night BUT he kept kicking me with his long legs.  So reminiscent of Niko!

Oskar said he was feeling 'salty' to not have his Froggie with him so of course Bubba insisted we drive him back to his buddy.

How excited he was to see the Lakewood exit sign

Froggie was getting very eager to get to his Oskar


When he spied a corner he knew, Granny had a hard time keeping Froggie inside the car!

 But look how happy he was to know that we were pulling up outside Oskar's home!

Sunday, December 15, 2019

Czekala Nativity

Had the pleasure of taking the boys shopping yesterday for their wonderful and stalwart mom.  Phew!  It took them awhile to figure out THEY were not getting anything other than lunch at Wendys BUT  Oskar was the one proved to come up with the best ideas.

Today they came to dinner.  I had saved the Czekala nativity for them to assemble.  I had hoped they were ready to actually have this treasure at their own  home but it's too fragile yet and they are so NOT careful.

Thursday, December 12, 2019

Patsy's Holiday Dinner

We walked in about 4:45pm and Patsy had no clue who we were, or why we were there or even why she was there.  She said she was confused. She had no concept of time and kept asking why we were there and what time it was. And she looked confused. I got her transferred from her chair to the wheelchair with portable O2 and out we went to our assigned table.

She was still concerned probably because she wasn’t at her normal table with the normal ladies, the room was bustling and loud and happy, very unlike her normal eating.  As she looked out into the courtyard again she asked what time it was because it was so dark.  She didn’t talk very much which is normal anymore…truly what else can she say when all she sees is Parkway, the patients, and very very old TV shows or strange Judge Judy type shows. 

Dinner was delightful.  Salad, rolls, prime rib, fingerling potatoes, asparagus wrapped in bacon, and red velvet cake.  She also was able to have Diet Pepsi which she loves but which is never on the menu.    But I kept asking her about her mom, and what cookies she made and which were her favorites (butter balls…like our Crescent Nut Horns).  I told her about Robert’s ‘surgery’ and about my new job.  Showed her pictures of all the incredible creations my boss makes and which I get to help make.  She got cold and so I put Robert’s coat around her shoulders and as soon as she finished her cake she was ready to return to her room. shivering.  I turned up her heat, put a crocheted wrap around her shoulders which have pockets she can put her hands into and then wrapped her blanket around it.

What a life!

 This is Maddie...Holly Greene Ware's daughter who is the Activities Chairman for Parkway.  By this time we could almost see the Patsy from yesteryear..

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Robert's latest ordeal

About 2 weeks ago Robert thought he had a pimple on his back and asked me to look.  Whoa!  It was so not a pimple.  He went to the doctor on Dec 2 and they said it was a boil and put him on an antibiotic.    A week later it was bigger and nastier so he returned to the doctor.  He was given an appointment at a Wound Specialist in Westlake for yesterday.  The previous pictures I took so Robert could see the problem were better than this one which I took in the exam room.  The abscess was about the size of a half dollar with the swelling more like the size of a grapefruit.

I wasn't sure what to expect but I was determined I would go into the exam room with him.  Two  and a half hour later we left.  The procedure complete.  I had sent this email to the kids:

We headed out to the Wound Specialist (and now of course he has to say he’s a wounded warrior).  Very nice place.  I went in with him because I thought I needed to hear what was said but instead I witnessed the whole ordeal.  The doctor asked if I was a nurse.  No.  "Well, you look like one."  Swell

First pictures and measurements were taken of the boil/carbuncle/absess.  Then an external numbing agent was applied.  The doctor came in and used a long syringe to shot in the stuff that deadens the area…whatever that’s called.  He’s push the plunger a bit and then move it around under the skin.

He asked for the #11 blade and cut thru the back just like I watch on Grey’s Anatomy.  So cool!  He pushed in the sides and out came pus and blood.  The nurse would stand back a bit each time so I did, too.  Then he had to make a bit larger cut and dig around with some pointy thing to get to the sac.  It took so long but finally he removed the sac.  SO UGLY that was! And smelled like vomit. Next came the cleaning out and the packing.

THEN I was told I had to unpack it each morning and repack it after dad has a shower.  Shower, gently clean with Ivory soap.  Dry it and then squirt this other stuff in it.  Then pack it, and wrap it.  I guess because I watched he felt I could do so I guess I can.  I tried to think of a nurse I knew (since Jacob lives too far away…lucky you) and could only think of Linda Bruderer but then I remembered Alia Heidleburg is close but Rana Harrison Volak is a surgical nurse and she lives on East Drive. So I’ve left her a message.

I don’t think I need her to come do it but I want a bit more coaching.

Naturally after  the first  syringe went in Robert didn’t feel anything else.  But before he got home he was miserable.  Gave him a couple ibuprofens and that didn’t ease anything.  Hopefully now that he’s eaten dinner it might let up a bit.

I was texting Dawn before the procedure began and she said NOT to video it.  Good idea, Dawn.  However Marissa wished I had and said she now needed to watch Dr. Pimple Popper.

So that’s that.  I have 7 days of packing and unpacking the hole in his back (and yes they sent off something for culturing) and we go back again next Tuesday.

 I worried all night if I could actually do this job.  About 3:30am today I was tired and so worried but actually fell back asleep.  And it was during this 'nap' that my mind revisited yesterday's procedure and I watched what the doctor was doing when packing the wound and I saw what I needed to do.  what a blessing some dreams can be.

After Robert showered I was actually able to accomplish the deed.  I am not sure I did it exactly correct or if I had put in enough of the fabric into the wound but  it was really hurting Robert and I hated to continue.  Guess I'll know more tomorrow morning when I try again.

This is the pack of tools I was sent home with.

Tuesday, December 10, 2019

From Jordan

Thanks for giving your life to raise me and pack my lunch every single day! I appreciate it more now than when I was eating the lunches.

Saturday, December 07, 2019

Balloon Twisting

I used to make balloon animals decades ago.  Time passed and I went on to other things.  At Shoreway Shopping Center a new unit opened, Exclusive Balloons.  The owner,  Sheila, offered a class  in 2018  Summer at Domonkas Library and I attended.  She offered it again this past summer for 3 nights and I attended again.  Sheila is the amazing teacher and so generous.  I would pop in and ask questions, and sometimes she'd say she was swamped and I would go up and help her.

A few weeks ago as we sat talking she turned to me and asked, Would you like a job here?  I was stunned but knew I'd say yes.  So now I work every Thursday.  Part of my responsibilities is to keep the work room clean, or stock new balloons that come in, making sure that each new item is posted in her account.  Along with this I get to help with the ballooning.

Today she took me along with her to an event.  We went to a complex in N. Ridgeville and twisted for a community of seniors who brought along their  grandchildren. I was hesitant and worried I couldn't do it good enough but Sheila was sure and said it was the perfect place to start the twisting. And boy was it fun!

That's me using the floor pump to inflate a balloon.  I don't own one of these altho I have been looking...but really, my hand pump is sufficient.  More than sufficient.  I am just so grateful that Sheila took me on and pays me to have fun.  I am truly blessed

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