Tuesday, April 08, 2014

Nightmares

To quote my friend, Sophia, Oh my heck!  Truly it was more Oh My Hell! but I'll try and keep it clean.  I awoke this morning at 4:22am.  Forced myself to go back to sleep (something I won't do again) and did.  When Robert's alarm finally and gratefully awoke me at 5:40 I was a blubbering mess.  Way too many things have happened in my life this past little while.  I can see each of their places within my nightmare, despite how weird the nightmare was.  Hours later now, this is what I remember altho I will attempt to leave out most of the emotions I was feeling..but you can insert them if you know how I behave.

The Nightmare is a 1781 oil painting by Anglo-Swiss artist Henry Fuseli (1741-1825).

I was seated in church, but not in my normal pew (you knew I've 'paid' for the right to sit in this one pew, don't you?).  Things were so weird.  It was Sunday School class and was being taught by Teri.  Oddly, the chapel was quite full and everyone seemed to be sitting around gossiping and enjoying each other.  Robert wasn't there.  Rick was telling me something and it had to do with feet and walking away.  Some woman in front of me had a ripped blouse or suit and was asking me to repair it because I knew how.  Then Marissa comes in with Niko, not on a leash.  She had something urgent to do or to tell me.  I don't remember what it was but I do know it was about our family.  Niko suddenly realized that all the moms had diaper bags under their seats and of course he went off to sniff the pheromones.  Suddenly I knew these were ALARM pheromones and I needed to get him out of the building fast, before he could more damage.

I got him out of the chapel and into the hall, passing a classroom and noticed a leash dangling from a hook.  Snagged it fast and got it sort of around Niko's head.  We headed out the usual door but once outside I knew it was not the parking lot.  It rather reminded me of the steps and water near the old Harris Fine Arts Building at BYU...not quite but it's the closest I could compare it to as i told Robert of my anguish.  The steps were wet and water was flowing rather rapidly (and yes the solar panels in my real home are still leaking, yesterday quite badly and I had listened to the drips as I fell asleep).  The steps were then slippery and they were open steps.  Suddenly Niko got lose of the leash ad disappeared through one of the steps.

I am screaming for help.  I think it was one of the YM in the ward who alerted me to where Niko was and helped me get him to a platform.  I could see that Niko was badly hurt.  Hurt as to leading to death.  I knew Niko was going to die.  I could not stand it.  I could not bear to look at him.  His eyes were frantic, he was begging me to help him, he didn't want to leave me, I didn't want him to leave me.  I remember thinking for a minute, if he dies, I can get another puppy.  NO! I rebuked myself. Niko is going to be my last. Then I feared that without Niko (In real life my assignment right now is to care for them).  But I didn't want Niko to die.  It was horrible.  So many things lost.  So much pain. So many tears.  And so many things throughout the dream were broken.  Things in the church.  People.  Niko.  Clothes.

And then the alarm.  Thankfully, then the alarm.

I could barely breathe by this time.  I awoke distraught because as I awakened I could put into place all the things that were broken or had died, were dying.  I had so many options and I was trying to get people to listen to me and everyone was just within their own heads.

But in reality, there are so many things dying today.  Jordan has posted recently about Rwanda and that's a horribly dying time to honor, remember.  Marriages have been at odds and will die which is the worst possible thing for me to even grasp.  Divorce is so easy and is made to look even easier but it's not.  My sweet godparents who are getting closer to this dying stage.  I visited Patsy Monday and altho she looked beautiful, I saw death on her face.  Johnny came in and he looked stronger but as he reached for her hand, kissed it saying nothing but gazing at her, Patsy replied quietly, "I know, I know."  This was a marriage that wasn't the best.  It was actually horrible for a few years.  But they battled it out and are at peace with the past (having forgiven it but she's not forgotten it) and are comfortable with the present.

Why is it that we mortals get so busy and get so hurt and so steamed at things/events/people that we refuse to get the help we need.  I can understand not forgiving when you've been hurt time and time again.  Been there/Done that.  Now I guess I leap to forgive even before I need to.  I just put people in a place that says I am no better.  I may not have her problem but I have my own.

And dogs? What's with Niko being such a huge thing in my dream?  And the steps at the HFAC?  Why would that come to mind?  I look for understanding in the simple objects of the dream.  Some I can find fast.  Others...well, not so much.

I tell you, next time I awake at 4:22am, I am going to get right out of bed and do something.  Now I think I'll go wash the kitchen floor, something Robert always did but now that he's recovering from his hernia surgery he won't be doing that.  So I guess after the past few years, mopping the floor is once again distaff.




Sunday, March 30, 2014

A DAY WITH HANK, MAKING TARTINE

Because I had enjoyed a lovely conversation with Karen from church (re: her family bakery) I asked Hank about starting the Levain from scratch.  He said he had some that he keeps alives and would share. So I asked Hank if he'd like to come over some time and together make his Tartine.  I needed a refresher course from start to finish.  Yesterday was the day!  What follows is the recipe which I wrote down as we went, along with pictures I took to help me remember.
The one thing you need to purchase to get these results is a cast iron combo cooker.  Luckily and kindly, Hank and Marissa had given us one back when they were living with us.  Later I bought a larger one from Ken Barlow's garage sale. You will need some sort of basket or couche to raise the formed loaves.  Hank ran to Pat Catans and picked up some but we needed one more and so I used my collapsible vegetable steaming basket, hung on the cabinet door handles in the corner. 

 LEVAIN***see below
100 g whole wheat flour
100 g bread flour
2 T levain previously made
200 g warm water

Combine with spatula til it forms a ball.  Cover with lid and leave overnight on the counter.  When ready to use in the bread, remove 2 T of the levain, keeping only 200 g for the bread.

 HANK’S  TARTINE BREAD
400 g levain
700 g warm water + 50 g warm water for later
(1000 g flour total)
900 g bread flour
100 g whole wheat flour
20 g salt

Place all the water, and all the flour in a large bowl (TW cake safe) and 200 g levain.  Glog it all together til it’s shaggy.  Allow it to sit for 30 minutes (keep house at 78-80 degrees F.)  

Mix in the 50 g warm water and 20 g salt.  Combine by squeezing the water and salt into the dough which is now wet, not quite batter.  The gluten has not developed yet.  You can place in cold oven next to a pot of boiling water.  Allow to rise for 2 hours.  BUT EVERY HALF HOUR GIVE IT FOLDS TO DEVELOP THE GLUTEN.  This will require the baker to watch the rise and development of the gluten. We put the dough into a 30+ year old TW cake safe which made for better folding and it also fit into the oven.

After 2 hours of the half hour foldings, place the bowl and dough back in the oven and let rest for 2 hours.  Do nothing other than add another pan of boiling water to the oven to keep the moisture on the dough.  You can see a bubble on the dough if you look close. 

LIGHTLY flour the surface.  Gently dump out the dough and divide into 2 equal portions.  You might need to lightly dust the cut edges with flour.  BUBBLES/HOLES SHOULD BE VISIBLE.  With each piece fold the edges in onto itself turning over to form into round loaves.  Sprinkle lightly with flour and cover the loaves with linen towels so the loaves do not lose their heat, allow to rest for 20 minutes. (IF the loaves DOME, you will need to reshape and rest for another 20 minutes.  The loaves should eventually flatten.

FINAL SHAPING
Make a 50/50 mixture of rice flour and bread flour and use this to flour the linen towels.

Take the first loaf, stretch out into sort of a short rectangle.  Fold up 1/3, fold 1/3 inside from the right, fold 1/3 from left, and then fold over onto the last remaining 1/3, rolling into a ball by cupping the edges in WITHOUT RIPPING THE DOUGH.
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Gently flip over onto the floured linens which are set inside the couche bowls.  Set timer for 3-4 hours.

Preheat oven to 500 degrees 30 minutes before baking, setting the combo cast iron pans inside the oven to heat.  This will increase the time it takes to preheat the oven because of the cast iron pans.

When it’s time, take the combo pans out of the oven.  The shallower one (the one I use as a skillet) will become the base for the loaves.  Invert each loaf onto ths pan. 

Sprinkle a handful of water onto the tops of the loaves. Using a lame or very sharp knife cut into it with a pattern you like (this allows for lovely ‘ears’ to form as the loaves bake).  Quickly invert the other part of the combo cooker (the deeper one) over the loaf.  Insert into the oven and reduce the heat to 450 degrees.

Bake for 20 minutes.  Remove the top portion of the combo cooker and return the loaf to the oven to finish baking…another 20-25 minutes.

Remove from the oven, quickly remove loaves from the cookers and place on a cooling rack.  If you listen carefully you can hear the wonderful sound the bread makes as it cools…very much like a ‘snap, crackle pop’ sound.
And see how lovely the inside looks...even without a spray injecting oven!

***(FOR THE NEXT BATCH OF BREAD/LEVAIN=to the 2 T of levain add 27 g warm water and 27 g bread flour..place in container with lid and leave on counter til the next day.  To maintain the starter, leave on counter and discard half, then feed 50/50 blend every day.  Keep the same weight every day.  If not using immediately, after that first day place in frig.  Feed once a month doing the same process.  Bring container out the counter, discard half, add 50/50 blend.  Allow to come back to life.  Continue with bread baking.)


Robert's surgery

Long before the sun came up, I had Robert in the care and drove him to Mercy Hospital in Lorain on Monday, March 24, 2014, so Dr. James Andrasko could perform surgery on Robert's surgery.  We were there before 6:30 as requested only to be told it was a late surgery day and that Robert would not have surgery before 8:30.  And sure enough, right on the button of 8:30 was Robert was taken to surgery and at 9:10, I was meeting with the doctor and told that everything went well. Phew!

We had to wait til 12:30pm before I could bring him home.  He has about a 2-week recovery time. The first few days he really just laid around the house.  Now almost a week later, he's moving quite a bit better.  I am glad he didn't insist on returning to work. The mill is filthy and he needs to stay home as long as possible.  He will get the doc's permission to return to work on Monday, April 7 and probably that means he will return to work on the 8th...at least that's what I'm hoping for.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Marius Edmond Hatch

NAME AND BLESSING DAY

As with all the grands, the day an infant is blessed is the day the infant gets his official name as to be recorded and known on the church records and in the world. But in addition to this the dad pronounces a special blessing on this little one.  Marius' blessing day was on Saturday, March 15...yes the Ides of March.  And it was a great blessing and a lovely day and Robert and I were thrilled to be able to be there for this moment.  As with the other grands, Marius wore the Baby Mary Jane, very British, booties that I made from my grandmother Holman's pattern.  Doesn't he look happy here...and we hadn't even started the moment yet. He was very ready for his name and blessing...sporting the christening gown his great great grandfather wore in 1898, which had been made for him (Richard James Holman) by his own grandmother.

Here are the men who participated:  Br. Flinders, Dad Jordan, Grandfather Robert.  The blessing was performed in the home and this lends a wonderful spirit of peace and love that attends that home and with the addition of Marius, an increase of love and spiritual is apparent.

Following are more pictures that were taken on this special day.


The complete family...The New Hatch Batch

With Robert and I in the back.
Current and future priesthood holders

A happy dad with his perfect boys!

3 Generations of Hatch Men
A nice shot
This is the photo we like best..just hanging out, casual and happy.
Look at us!  We got the baby!



The mom has the wee one.





Yards of lace






And in keeping with the British tradition of passing silver over the palm of a newborn, Marius is here with a 2014 Silver dollar as a keepsake.

"At last!  I'm out of the gown." Marius says as he snuggles in his baby bunting, ready for a nap on Granny's lap and listening as she tells him how perfect and beautiful he is.





And that ended our vacation in Florida.  It was a very lovely week.  No big hurries, no needs, no stress, no snowstorm.  Lots of love and laughter, stories and remembrances.  Many times with little ones at our sides as we read books to them.

We left sunny Cape Coral for home the next morning early.  Marissa met us at the airport with pasties for lunch (with green pastry for St. Patrick's Day which was on Monday)
 and chocolate chip cookie bars and even stopped to let us pick up Niko from the doggie spa.  It was hard to leave one family but good to be meet by another and to enjoy the moment when we returned to our own home.

So I am determined to start another saving account so we can return to Jordan and Hillary and their kids, maybe next year.  Until then, there are grands that do live within driving distance. But Skype with all of them is very important to keeping in touch and for recognition between generation.  I love technology!

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

FLORIDA


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Wee Marius was born on January 27 and a week later poor Hillary had to have an appendectomy.  Now it came time for his blessing which meant Robert and I would travel to Cape Coral, FL to play with the New Hatch Batch.  We flew out of Cleveland on Monday, March 10 and into Ft. Myers.  It was a lovely trip even tho I was imagining all sorts of horrible endings to the flight.  I made certain all my Visiting Teaching was completed, even giving the message to Jan Warren who kindly drove us to Cleveland Hopkins Airport.  Hillary and the kids met us at the airport and drove us to their lovely home.  The above video shows us driving out of the community.  It was a wonder to see a lovely climate when back home in NE Ohio they would be suffering another mini polar vortex and as I watched the news release of various accidents, I actually felt guilty for being in warm and sunny Florida.  There were just too many things to see and do, grands to play with, to spend too much time in guilt...especially since all too soon we'd be returning.

Here is my firt glimpse at Marius Edmond Hatch in the flesh.  He slept most of the way home from the airport and when I heard him moving about, I slid back the suncovering and looked upon his amazing face. As soon as we settled in at their home,  Robert was able to hold Marius.

 The kids helped me to our room and of course immediately wanted to use my iPad, mostly to watch a movie.  I had bought the digital version of Frozen to watch with Lily and we did, later on.  First it was the Incredibles for Rob.  We had our own room, a comfy futon mattress, bathroom right across the hall.  All was perfect.
 Robert spent some free time, as usual, reading.  This time he read the books Jordan and Hillary had. The one in this picture concerns OHIO.
 Of course we had books to give to these kids and we both spent a lot of time reading and rereading the new stories.
 Lily is very much into applying makeup but Robert needed a manicure with polish and of course Lily obliged.

 Is this not the cutest little face that just begs to be kissed or squeezed?  And oh that curly hair.

 Any object becomes something to explore and create with.  He is very much interested in technology of any kind, of engineering things.  The cogs just go round and round.  He's happy to play with Lily but is so perfect by himself, entertaining himself.
 Hillary cuddling with Marius.
 And at last, I got to have a picture taken with Marius. Always the problem when you take all the pictures, you always have to ask someone to take some of you.  Look at this lamp...asleep and just happy to lie in someone's arms.  Why can't we as adults sleep like this?
 On Tuesday, Miss Lily had her first dentist appointment.  We noticed the hesitation in her conversation but off she went while we played with the boys at home.  And she did so well and by the time she got home, she was so experienced!  Ready to tell all about the adventure.
 Altho this picture is upside down, you get the idea...this is her first xray of her mouth, with the adult teeth already forming.
 Dawn had said Lily needed to take some sun glasses so the bright light didn't bother her eyes. She did but her dentist already had a pair for her.  The dentist had names for all tools, like Mr. Thristy for the tube that sucked out the water.


 For comfort sake, her baby doll and blanket went with her and stayed close by her.



 Lily is a fashionista..with so many pretty clothes.  Luckily Lily loves to dress us and knows that Sunday and church requires good dressup clothes.  For that I am grateful.  I think children need to learn that Sundays require better clothes and perhaps that aids them in knowing how to act more in keeping with the holiness of the day.  One their way home from the dentist, Lily and her mom did a little shopping and right here Lily is sporting her new pair of gloves for Easter.  I believe she also got a hat and purse.  She's all set.

 One of the first things Jordan did when they settled things in Florida was to build some square foot gardens and get them planted.  Here's Hillary coming through their lanai door, arms filled with produce for dinner
 One evening while Hillary and I went to Costco, Robert, Jordan and the 3 kids went to their park to play.
 Initially Robert was going to ride Jordan's bike, pulling the cart and Jordan was going to push the stroller...but it was hot and it was a distance so they turned around and got the car.  Smart move.











 If you look close you can see a string wrapped around Marius' thumb...so reminding me of Marissa who has always had a piece of her baby quilt, an edging to wrap through her fingers.  So of course I needed to take a picture.
 One day Robert and I took Lily and Rob to the Imaginarium.  We think it was created in an old aquarium building.  The first thing we took in was a presentation on animals.  Rob was very happy to touch the toad, which is different from a frog in that it doesn't have sticky feet to climb.
 Lily even hook the toad's 'hand'. Such bravery.  Perhaps it was the trip to the dentist that made her brave.
 But they both easily stroked a baby girl alligator.

 That was about as long as Rob was interested in listening to this very slow presentation so he and I left and went to the area of the buildings that offered things to do. Soon Lily and Robert joined us.  At the puppet area Lily found this royal cape, quilted with a crown on the back and naturally she had it on in a flash.
 And it stayed on even as she ran the 'steam' shovel.
 Rob enjoyed the wall of moveable and educational puzzles.
 But most of all the sandbox.  I wasn't certain we would ever get him out.

 Robert and I also took the kids to their library.  They had something to return and you know how we love libraries.  As luck would have it, the first spot we passed were shelves filled with pop-up books...and you know how I love popup books.  I now have a list of books I need to save and then purchase.



 Robert, ever the inquisitive one...spent a long while with the busy table.
 or with puzzles.  He is very good at this activity.

 This video actually occurred on our first day with them.  Rob has always had a fascination with fans and now vacuums.  Add Robert to this and let me tell you, it was a lark!

Our trip was wonderful and we are grateful that we were wanted and will now start to save for the next trip.

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