Friday, August 29, 2014

It's done

Robert walked in.  It's done!  And I sobbed!

There was a blood drive at work yesterday and the shirt they gave away looked  like Robert so some guy put one aside for him.  but there's no disguising my Hero!  I actually saw it earlier when I took some cinnamon gems right out of the oven to him for his buddies in the bar mill.  I was going to do this but time escaped me. When they yelled into the phone, "Where are Mrs. Hatch's buns" I raced home and made them.

When he came home we walked to the garage and ceremoniously disposed of his lunch box.  I'm not having to pack him lunches anymore.  Hooray for my retirement from this!  I always made him breakfast and packed him lunch because his mom never did this for his dad and from the get-go Robert said he'd like it if I would do this because he hated watching his dad forage for food.

Robert's last day at the mill

Yesterday on FB I posted One Day More from Les Mis.  Today I posted Seize the Day from Newsies.  I've been weepy all day, hard to stop...worst part, I don' t know why.  All the kids are coming in for the big weekend.  It's gonna be bedlam and loud and wonderful and I hope our hot water holds out.  Wish we had our tankless one from 809 (and you know that it's what we will install when the current one dies).  I finally got my tears to stop.  But just now James Wells, from Elyria/Grafton added a note to the FB post...He hoed to the end of the row.  I knew what he meant and now ill post the poem because it is Robert...and it is James.

Bill Brown made a million,
Bill Brown, think of that.
That boy you remember,
As poor as a rat.
He hoed for the neighbors,
Did jobs by the day.
And Bill made a million,
Or near it they say.
He worked for my father,
You'll maybe recall.
He wasn't a wonder,
Not that, not at all.
He couldn't out-hoe me,
Or cover more ground,
Or hoe any faster,
Or beat me around.
In fact, I was better
In one way that I know.
One toot from the kitchen
And home I would go.
But Bill Brown always hoed
To the end of the row.
We used to get hungry
Out there in the corn.
You talk about music,
What equals a horn?
A horn yellin' dinner,
And tomatoes and beans,
And pork and potatoes,
And gravy and greens.
I ain't blamin' no one
For quittin' on time.
To quit with the whistle,
That ain't any crime.
But as for the million,
Well, this much I know.
Bill Brown always hoed
To the end of the row.

I hope both Robert and James have many more rows to hoe.  I'll be posting more as Robert gets home.  But for now...Hoe to the end of the row.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Forget Priesthood?

See that title? That's the title of the following article (which you may or may not want to read).  I am posting this as an addendum to last year's hoopla where we saw Kate Kelly and her minions attempt to force the church to ordain women to the priesthood (if you go to my hard copy of last year's blog posts and find the bookmarked page, you can read about the pathetics I have known who joined in this league and continue with the following).  When that didn't work, Satan the ever vigilant sorry case that he is learned to soften his attempt at this same topic...this time to create yet another slippery slope for those who just cannot see...but good grief, the first 2 words of the title should have put readers on the alert!

The article in the Salt Lake Tribune (where else?) was brought to my attention by someone who does 'see'.  It was posted on FB by a former ward member, and LIKED but a couple of our current sisters.  LIKED?  Really?  What's to like?  Then another former ward member posted a response to his sister-in-law in agreement (It has some valuable and insightful suggestions) which, of course, mouthy me had to comment.  There was nothing to recommend nor commend this article.  I sent it out to my family and friends so as to continue to attempt to be a watchtower of sort, as my friend was to me when she sent me the link.  I needed to know the new path Satan was taking.  I received some good comments as well as some off ones (sadly).

When I spoke with Robert about this his asked, And is this how to magnify our callings?  And I we, especially women, need the spotlight and then immediately I thought about Nephi in 3 Nephi 11:18  "And it came to pass that he spake  unto Nephi (for Nephi was among the multitude) and he commanded him that he should come forth."    Here's the prophet who just went to be among the crowd, not standing out, apart, above the rest, waiting to be spotlighted.  Just a humble servant who did what he was directed to do, who magnified his calling and then sat with the righteous and awaited the Savior's words.  He didn't need to stand apart nor above the rest.  He just served as he had done before the Savior's appearance.  There is one mortal who we could use as an example even tho our only true example is the Savior himself.  Yes, this article made me mad and sad.  And I felt the same for the people who LIKED it and didn't see...who within their own lives could reply to me that the church OUGHT to get this right, to correct the inequalities.  Wow...someone I know, actually this someone is on my family tree, feels the church is wrong?!  Wow!

Ever more the reason to learn to watch carefully where we tread, who we listen to even in the smallest ways.  Be ever vigilant my children and teach my grands the things of the kingdom, not of the world.

a few of THE GOOD:

I don't want to hold a microphone and I don't need to stand around talking to people when I could be sitting in the pew and have people come up to me and talk...and no one is stopping them from quoting the general RS or YW presidency. It seems like a personal list which I think is silly.  They must not have anything to do! 

That article is as lame as all the rest!  I have felt that the Church for me has encouraged and created a forum to be like The Marines..."be all you can be"!  I have been encouraged to develop talents I didn't know that I had and to share and bless others with the skill and knowledge that I had already developed and have been blessed by others doing the same for me.  I never had a desire to participate in baby blessings or wear pants to church.  I think back at times feeling marginalized or not heard but I never blamed The Church, it was the individual--gender was not the issue, it was the individual. I feel these people should get busy performing some of the good works they are talking about and quit complaining.  The Savior is a male and he stands at the head of His Church.

I can't even read that garbage.  Got about halfway through her list.  What a wolf in sheep's clothing.  And she works for Bonneville Communications, huh? OH boy.

I couldn't agree with you more. It's a slippery slope, and Satan's so tricky people don't even realize they are on it.  How many people are these women potentially turning away, investigators etc, from any interest in the church by sympathizing with these groups and posting about it.  Mind boggling. As you said, I have never felt invisible, these girls need to go back to young women's and learn about their Individual Worth.

I can't remember if we discussed the topic of RSPresidency having an office at the church too.  Really people?  GET REAL.  And RSP should sit on the stand with the bishopric.  Who'd want to?  Ok, soft seats, but why the need to be recognized like that.


I have to agree that I think women need to be more visible at church. That's
been my issue. Why aren't the General Boards more visible at Conference?
It's crazy that it took so long for a woman to offer the prayer at
Conference! I don't want the priesthood but I do think things need to
change. It's unfortunate that it takes very liberal women making a big stink
and inappropriate stands to make the leadership take notice of the

Forget priesthood — some Mormon feminists seek a middle way

Neylan McBaine doesn’t see herself as a feminist crusader.
When McBaine, a lifelong Latter-day Saint reared in New York City, accepted an invitation to speak about women’s issues at a Fair Mormon apologists’ meeting two summers ago, she simply wanted to communicate to an orthodox audience that the pain of some women within the Utah-based religion was real — and potent.
But that speech — which outlined ways LDS women feel marginalized, offered statistics on female members who are leaving the faith over gender issues and proposed small changes in church staffing and rhetoric that might make big differences — set off a new wave of Mormon feminist activism and awareness that no one could have predicted.
Since then, LDS women pushing for change — from wearing pants to church services to praying at General Conference and seeking female ordination to the all-male priesthood — have attracted local and national attention.
But such efforts also have divided the faithful in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Kate Kelly, who helped launch the Ordain Women movement in 2013, was excommunicated in June, while many an online discussion about Mormon feminism has devolved into name calling and polarization.
McBaine, a brand strategist at LDS Church-owned Bonneville Communications in Salt Lake City, has tried to chart a moderate path — pointing out problems and asking for change while resisting radical moves such as ordination.
"I didn’t start with the goal of being a spokeswoman for a particular vein of thought on Mormon women," she says. "I feel I have been thrust into this position."
Other like-minded Latter-day Saints in the U.S. and abroad — some of whom consider themselves feminists, while others avoid that label — also have embraced a careful approach short of ordination, trying to help the church they love navigate the gender storm that seems to building all around.
An urgent need » McBaine, whose mother was an accomplished opera singer and a single mom, was surrounded by strong Mormon women.
When she moved to Utah in 2010, she launched The Mormon Women Project, an online library of interviews with a variety of accomplished female Latter-day Saints.
Now, McBaine, who is married and has three daughters, has unveiled a volume from Greg Kofford Books, "Women at Church: Magnifying LDS Women’s Local Impact," an expansive look at the issues, scriptures and history that formed the basis of her 2012 speech.
McBaine interviewed a handful of key Mormon leaders in Utah, two dozen male and female leaders across the country, and more than 100 members via email to gather stories about LDS congregations that had discovered ways to enhance the role of women.
Among the suggestions:
» Establish parity in budgets and fun activities between Cub Scouts and girls’ Activity Days.
» Honor girls in front of the congregation at key ages, just as boys are.
» Involve women in baby blessings led by the all-male priesthood.
» Assign young women to be permanent Sunday greeters.
» Have young women hold the microphones at testimony meetings.
» Allow members to have a woman sit in a worthiness interview with the male priesthood leader.
» Quote female sources in sermons, Relief Society and Sunday school lessons.
There are many such structural tweaks Mormons can introduce to "make the church a place where struggles are supported, not compounded," McBaine writes, "...a haven, not a hindrance, for those who seek greater gender cooperation in their church experience."
After all, she adds, "communal relationships and interactions are the road on which faith finds its way."
Such revisions may be even more important outside the Mormon corridor, Intermountain West or the U.S.
A global view » Earlier this month, Melissa Wei-Tsing Inouye, a Mormon in New Zealand who lectures at the University of Auckland and has four kids, penned a widely read essay about LDS women’s invisibility.
"An investigator who walks into a Mormon congregation on Sunday sees a row of older men sitting on the stand and a group of younger men administering religious rites," Inouye writes on the Patheos website. "To this outside observer, neither the formal leadership of the [women’s] Relief Society president nor the informal influence of women within the community are immediately apparent."
The issue of visibility is not insignificant, she argues. "Visible equality is important, not just for the sake of correcting outsiders’ negative public perceptions, but for the sake of our youth — especially the young women — who are in many ways still ‘investigators,’ looking at the church in the context of the many life paths that are open to them and trying to decide whether the church looks like a place where they belong."
LDS authorities boosted the visibility of the church’s general women leaders during April’s General Conference by seating them in the middle of the all-male Quorum of the Seventy. Before that, women sat off to the right.
Such efforts to spotlight female Latter-day Saints are crucial in countries such as the Democratic Republic of Congo, Inouye writes, a "deeply patriarchal culture" where "women do most of the everyday chores, defer to their husbands on decisions like whether to become pregnant or what to name their child, and generally act as servants to the men of the family."
In many LDS wards there, men often teach both Young Women classes (for girls 12 to 17) and Primary (for children ages 3 to 11), she writes, "because the women who are called to teach don’t come prepared. ... Congolese women members do not see why they can be the ones to fulfill a leadership or teaching responsibility at church."
Young women also need visible assignments at church — like young male priesthood holders bless and prepare the sacrament, collect financial offerings and count the number of attendees.
Inouye envisions young females "called to serve as ushers, musicians, local missionaries ... and teachers."
In places like the Democratic Republic of Congo, young women could be "called to learn and eventually to teach French (the language of education and of church materials in that country)," Inouye writes, "or young women in Newport Beach, California, called to learn and eventually to teach Spanish [for local service as a stake missionary working in humanitarian services]."
Inouye imagines Laurels (older teenage girls) "trained to be doulas, supporting women physically and spiritually through long hours of labor," she says, "in the tradition of generations of Mormon women in the 19th and early 20th centuries who ministered to laboring sisters through the laying on of hands."
Equal partnership between men and women needs to be modeled at church, Inouye says. Women must be visible to be respected.
Back to the future » Boston-based Helen Claire Sievers believes Mormon women were much more visible — and empowered — in the 1950s through 1970s, when the faith’s female auxiliaries were independent entities. They controlled their own budgets, ran their own organizations, had their own magazines, and stood atop large, traveling general boards.
"I had no problem with [not having] the priesthood or anything else when I was a young adult and working in the church because we, as women, were doing such serious things, things that were important to the church membership," says Sievers, executive director of WorldTeach, a nongovernmental organization that originated at Harvard and partners with ministries of education to send volunteers to teach in low- and middle-income countries.
She would like to see the church harness its women and resources to do "saving-the-world sorts of things."
Classrooms in LDS chapels could be used to teach language classes, and not just on Sunday. Women paired as visiting teachers could become "community health workers," going into homes to talk about hygiene and simple lifesaving techniques.
"We are bubbling over with talent in the church, people who are retired or who have extra time, who could advise on committees to develop targeted materials that would greatly improve the quality of life of members everywhere," Sievers says. "We could also craft and sponsor programs that would improve skills of men and women, especially in middle- and low-income countries, and make them more employable in targeted ways (see what the job opportunities are in the region, and then train the people to have the needed skills)."
Young women could be learning languages, speaking and organizational skills in their Sunday or weekday meetings, she says, preparing for missions.
"Forget the priesthood," Sievers says. "Let us work on something substantive, like we used to ... and work with the men, too."
And all of this could be achieved without ordaining Mormonism’s first female elder.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Quiet Book

When my Aunt Carol had her first and only child in 1971, I created a Quiet Book for Richard.  When I had Dawn 2 years later, I was too overwhelmed or tired or just didn't put all the effort into a book for her. But Carol ended up giving back that quiet book.  I doubt she used it, especially because they weren't church attenders and didn't go any place that would require a kid to be kept entertained.

When my grands started arriving I resurrected this craft...All kids said they would love one except for Cara.  So I made quiet books for the other grands but they basically went along the idea of Scripture Story Quiet Books.

Yes, Quiet Books take a lot of effort but patterns abound...anywhere.

THEN one day earlier this year, Lexi DeBaltzo was asked to teach a class for the Family History Conference that is held every year.  Her theme was "Tell a Story" in tell one story...not the whole family history story and to use other mediums than just the written word.  Immediately I knew what I would create...a Quiet Book for M2T2's boys, telling the story of their courtship and marriage and family moments up to this time.  I attended a couple of classes Lexi held at her home to get some ideas or pointers as to what she wanted.  I finished a couple of pages so she could present my pages in Power Point presentation for the class.  But I continued on with the quiet book.  But there are no patterns for the events I would be describing so I had to work at having more creativity that I really have.  I was able to alter a couple pattern ideas and that helped.    I got hung up on NYC page but made it through and finished the whole thing this week.  I cannot wait to present it to Marissa and Hank, alone and separate from the boys so they can enjoy my version of their life story and then they can know to present it to the kids, perhaps in church even...which is why I created it to begin with.

Sure it's all about technology today.  I sit and watch kids entertaining themselves when they are FAR too old with their iPhones, iPads, tablets.  But I am hoping this will be a different sort of interactive book.  For my own remembrance these are the pages and the story that goes with each one.

Probably 20 plus years ago we had FHE groups in which each month we'd pick a theme and create X# of duplicate copies of the packet.  Then we would assemble and hand them out to the other ladies in our group.  This first page of this quiet book is my all time favorite handout from that group.  CREATION of the world

God created Heaven and Earth..what follows are felt pieces that continue the story of the 6 days of creation.

God created Families.  MY Family!

This page tells the story of a couple of parties Marissa and her housemates had when they lived in Lakewood, to which Hank was invited.  The Cinqo de Mayo party might have begun with a stopped up toilet and Marissa and Hank went to the store to purchase a plunger. On the way home, I believe Marissa used it on Hank's behind.  Another time a storm blew in and Hank was (or acted) afraid and put a metal bucket on his head for protection.  You see the Marissa and Hank 'dolls'?  They move through the book/story.
 In keeping with page 2, is a Count to 10 in Spanish page...very colorful (maybe too much so)...with the Spanish words underneath each line of beads.
 This 2-page spread is a game.  One evening Marissa and Hank were in a park, which closes at dusk, as do all parks in our area.  They had gone to the car when Hank realized he didn't have his keys (or was it his wallet?). They turned around to hunt in the dark when suddenly a Lakewood Police car pulls up and was ready to ticket them for being in the park, wondering perhaps what they were up to in a park, late at night.  Suddenly the cop looks at Marissa and says, "Aren't you a Hatch?  What would your parents think?" or something along those lines.  After a bit he identified himself as Will Albrecht who used to date Dawn.  Marissa wondered would she ever get away with anything or would being a Hatch follow her always?  The keys were found and they got away without a ticket.  Thank goodness for a known cop with a connection to our family!  The game .markers are keys and the lost key is hidden in the tree top
 Marissa and Stephanie and Jana lived in this lovely home in Lakewood...and it provided easy access through a window for Hank to crawl through and surprise Marissa with breakfasts.  At this time Marissa was teaching art in Lorain schools, both elementary and high school.  I think Hank would make these Saturday breakfasts.  Marissa doll fits in her bedroom window, Hank in the kitchen. The breakfast items are buttoned or snapped on.
 Eventually Marissa and Hank decided they were in love and got engaged.  "Mommy and Daddy loved each other. They obeyed the Lord and were married for time and eternity in the temple."  Along the top it says Mommy and Daddy, on the left side it has the 3 boys' names,   On the right, "We are an eternal family."  A key unlocks the small lock and the heart opens to find pictures of the wedding day/reception.

 Pretty soon Hank decided to advance his education by attending The Portfolio Center in Atlanta or HOTLANTA as this page calls it.  The upper left picture is Marissa outside her classroom where she taught art (and coached Volleyball) in a high school. The lower picture is from the Portfolio Center.  Inside the front of the sun are various facial features that the boys can make with the sun.
 "Daddy was alone painting houses in Chatanooga.  Mommy drove up to surprise him on his birthday.  SURPRISE!"  Hank was lonely, up there in Chatanooga.  Marissa was lonely down in Atlanta.  Hank is ever the industrious one, providing for them.  This page allows the boys to match the colored paint brush with the same paint can.
 When Hank was finished with schooling there he obtained a super job in NYC. They lived in a tall, old apartment that actually was quite large for an astoundingly reasonable price.  Hank often pedaled his bike from Queens to 5th Avenue.  There was a little park across from their apartment, about the size of a postage stamp...but it was green and Marissa has always loved the out of doors!  Henry was born in NYC.  When they realized they didn't want to raise a family in NYC they returned to Ohio, and bought a lovely home in Lakewood.  Henry began his biking riding career on a bike with no pedals, a balance bike.  When he was put on a regular bike in July, he just took right off.  No training wheels. This page has a bike that can ride across the page.
 Hank and Marissa built a pizza oven in their backyard.  It's a wonderful oven, heated to such a high degree with wood that a pizza cooks in 90 seconds.  Marissa and Hank make up great varieties, my favorite being their Corn Belt Pizza....ham, corn, cheese, etc.  This page is about a pizza..and fractions...and toppings they can add to the slices.
 Hank has always been a big skate boarder and apparently Oskar seems to love to draw skate boards.  We have pictures of Hank showing Henry how to ride a skateboard.  I attempted to make a half pipe for the toy skate boards to use.  But my fun moment was the tagging "Trefethen Forever" continuing the theme.  Marissa taught graffiti art in her art classes and Hank is very good at tagging. What I did NOT put in the book is that Hank was picked up for tagging when he was young.  I figure that's a story he may or may not want to tell his boys. And to have full disclosure...I am no good at tag art.  I found and that helped me with this graphic.  I took a class in calligraphy when I was pregnant with one of the girls and still love to do that...perhaps I need a class in this art form.
 This is my signature page...the boys love my gumball machine which is always filled with M&Ms.  Oskar loves Granny's 'nacks....leaving off the initial S.  The buttons on the right strip are to be matched up with the colored circles 'in' the gumball.  I added at the bottom:  Granny + Bubba love you---2014--forever.
 Lastly is the saddest page for me.  I know that this lovely and close family will be moving, all too soon, and probably to California.  I HATE IT.  I never thought they'd be back here in Lakewood.  I never thought they'd offer to have every Sunday dinner with us, switching who would host.  I never thought I'd have the boys once a week during the end of Marissa's pregnancy.  I never thought we could be this close in proximity, to shop at Dean's Kitchen Supply or Minneapolis Flour Company.  But we have been blessed...and now I have to let them go.  I HATE IT.  It's not fair. But it's gonna be what it's gonna be.  So this page reads:

Wherever the Trefethen Ark may land, it will be HOME because we are an Eternal Family.  As the door to the ark unsnaps, inside are finger puppets.  Oh how I wish that ark would stay here for a bit longer.

 So as I end this entry, with tears streaming down my feeling-sorry-for-myself face, I am so grateful to Lexi for asking me to be a part of her project...that led me to this project.  I know that wherever the Trefethens go, they will know of my love for them.  Through this Quiet Book.

It's the same hope I have that the other 3 families of grands would know as they look and play with their own quiet books.  But honestly, I hope they all know more because of the various times we have spent/and will spend together. For the quick phone calls or Skypes.   For however long this life in mortality is measured to me.

But this I do know...The Gospel is true. The covenants have been restored and should be honored and cherished, even in moments of doubt.  It's our commitment to the Lord that allows our faithfulness to our family members.

From Master Gardener

to Earthly Gardener

It's so easy to plant a few seeds/starts and after care to reap an abundance.  The shirt says it all.  Here's my favorite, nearly retired man...amongst his lovely flowers/grapes after having harvested after work....and he didn't even bring in the tomatoes yet.

Friday, August 15, 2014

June Rauscher

Today was an extra special day.  Today I had lunch with June Rauscher.  Her Aunt Linda called to say June was coming for the weekend and would I like to do lunch? Would I like to do lunch?  Would I like to reconnect with this amazing child I cared for from the time she was 6 weeks old til she went to school?  Who I kept safe not just from her mom but from her dad?  Who learned at my table?  Who ate with us? Played with us?  The One I felt the Lord should have allowed me to adopt or at least to keep?  Oh yes!

I drove to Linda's and waited til June finished getting ready, doing her hair. And then out she came...this tall, thin, lovely young woman!  So grown up.  I was in tears...and again so many times during our lunch.  June talks,  She smiles. She laughs. She has things to say. She's visited Graceland! of all places, with her best friend.  Has a boyfriend.  Is an EXCELLENT student.

We went to Red Robin and I let Linda talk on the drive but once in the restaurant I told June it was going to be the June Show...she'd have to tell me all things she's doing and is. And she so nicely complied.

Here's my darling June.  I told stories that she didn't remember and that Linda had not heard.  Such as:  that I still have her June Bunny stuffed animal and if she wanted it back she could have it (she remembered the bunny but didn't want it back),  I asked if she still drank milk and oh boy does she.  Linda attested to that since when she's come to visit June will down all the milk Linda has in the house.  When she was with me and wanted milk, her little voice would say MIIILLLLKKKK.  Robert still makes this request this way.  I asked if she ever felt her mom near her  (Penny died of brain cancer).  June barely remembers her mom but I assured her how much Penny loved her.  That when the Federal offices were closed on 9-11 that the first place Penny came was to our home, just to sit and hold June. At the time, there was a restraining order and Penny was not allowed to be near June unless Tiger (dad) gave his permission.  I watched Penny's head walk by the window and started to freak out.  I grabbed the phone to call 9-1-1 (the cops patrolled our home to be sure there were not problems) or to be able to. Penny stopped at the door and told me Tiger had given her permission to come.  He had and altho she came in, I kep the phone in my hand.  But 9-11 was a very upsetting day for the US and I understood Penny's need. The  other moms all called by phone to check on their kids, to just be reassured that they were safe.  It was that kind of day.  All these details I did not tell June this day but I remember them here.

Sometimes I'd look at June and see her cousin, Other times I'd see Penny in her. And always I could see Tiger.

June lives with her dad and Uncle Joe in Wellington (hence the logo on her shirt).  She's so happy and so sweet. She's just what I wanted her to grow to be if she couldn't grow to be mine.

But for a couple of minutes I could pretend.  and I did. and it was wonderful.  and we shall most definitely do lunch again some time.

Monday, July 21, 2014


Lin  Floyd wrote a blog post recently about overcoming fear about writing your family history, that was an experience shared with parents.  My parents are now dead but I still tend to the needs of my godparents.  Last week, as we were driving, Patsy told me this wonderful story and I was always going to record it on my blog but really wanted to connect it to Lin.

Patsy was in the 6th grade. She had a very good friend, Margaret Pirchner, whose uncle owned The Alphine Village which is near where our current Playhouse Square is located in Cleveland.  Back then all the theaters were movie theaters.  Margaret's dad, Otto, worked with his brother.

Here's her Uncle Herman (who lived to be 101) carrying 56 mugs of beer.

But back to the story.  Patsy and her family were on Welfare.  Margaret and her family obviously were not. One day Margaret asked if she could come and visit Patsy in Patsy's home after school one day.  Patsy was delighted.  The day arrived and both girls walked home together. But when they got home, Patsy's mom, my great aunt Florida (Florrie as we called her) needed a few things from the grocery store.  Patsy was mortified and scared to take her friend with her to the store.

Back in that era, if you were on Welfare, you did your shopping and then went up to the clerk, gave her your name.  The store kept your family's information on a card and they'd pull the card, write down your purchases and amount and you'd be off.  Patsy KNEW that Margaret's family did not have to go through this and she was afraid she'd lose a friend when Margaret found out how poor they were.  Patsy tried everything to get out of going to the store for her mom but she says her mom was pretty strict about such things, bordering on being mean and stern.

So off the two girls went.  Patsy selected the things on her mom's list, with dread walked up to the clerk, gave the name, card was pulled and notated, and they left....not having to pay a thing.

As they walked home, Margaret said to Patsy..."That was just wonderful!  You get to go to a neighborhood store where they know your name and you don't have to pay a penny.  When my mom goes shopping she has to pay for our food with cash."

Patsy was so relieved that Margaret would continue to be her friend (and did so throughout their school years) and never had to tell Margaret that her family was on welfare.  When Patsy told me this story last week, she wondered if Margaret really was that innocent or was she that kind.  But the fear was replaced with joy and rejoicing.

The added fun part that Patsy tossed in, as almost an aside to no one in the car but herself, was that my grandmother, Florrie's younger sister, was always the fun one.  "Your grandmother was always so much fun and it was wonderful visiting Auntie Gladys and playing and being loved by her."

 That's how we knew my grandmother to be til her dying day.

Sunday, July 20, 2014


My mom loved angels and years ago I bought her a garden angel which she put in the front yard.  You must remember that she lived in this house, which is on Lake easy road to snatch and run with anything that's out front. She and Bonpapa lost quite a few things til they figured if they really wanted to keep something they needed to put it in the back.  Mom was heartbroken that the angel was gone.

I knew where I had bought the first angel, at a continue garage sale home in the Village.  I went back and asked the man if he by any chance had another...and luckily he did.  I bought it and one night late, let myself in to their backyard and set up the angel so that when my mom looked out her kitchen window in the morning she'd see 'her' angel had returned.  And that's just want happened.  She was so pleased to have 'her' angel back in the yard, looking out for her.  Of course she knew I had replaced it but it was still wonderful for her.

Time passed.  Cancer took its toll and my mom died. Then Bonpapa. We moved up here. Robert's not a big fan of the angel but I insisted she stay.  Tonight, at about dusk he had returned from a Stake Priesthood Leadership meeting and standing at the kitchen window he saw a sight and called me to see.  He said my mom's angel was glowing, to come look.  I did. It was.  I snapped a picture that doesn't do it justice.  But she was glowing with just enough of the setting sun illuminating her.  Robert then said, 'and your mom is still watching over us.'  I hope he's right.  I miss her!

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Destiny Class

Odd moment...I was asked to teach one of the Destiny classes for Girls Camp this year.  I really thought I was too old to be asked for this venue but I agreed.  )My friends in and out of church laughed when they tried to picture me in the out of doors) When they gave me the theme (all Seuss books) AND my assigned book, The Cat in the Hat...well, frankly I was quite worried. This is not a book I have ever liked.  I don't even remember reading it to my kids altho I might have.  I set about to figure out how to present this and then, clear as a bell, the answer was right in front of me.  I had to teach this class 3 times on Wednesday morning (July 16).  And oddly, actually enjoyed it.  Hopefully the girls did as well.

Today, Jocelyn called from her Christensen Family Reunion/Vacation in Utah (aka Stepfordville), and she asked how it went.  I had told her about it and she gave me some bullet points of what this story told her, some of which I was able to use in the class.  Then she asked me to send her the class. But I don't write everything out.  I only ever have the briefest of notes.  I don't or can't bear to listen to anyone who just READS their talks so why would I expect someone to listen to me read.  Always felt that way. But Jocelyn said she wanted a copy.  This afternoon as I was making bread (Nila Eddington's bread which is always better when Nila makes it!), I attempted to assemble some sort of remembrance.  When it was all done, I figured I might as well post it here, in case I ever need it again.  Or perhaps when I might need to remind myself that I can do something like this again. Despite my age. Despite the venue.  And always I am grateful that the Lord puts things smack dab in front of me when I need an example.  Always!

Welcome to this day’s Destiny Class.  Honestly I was at first surprised at the book I was assigned because it’s never been a book I’ve liked.  I’ve gone so far as to say I hated this book and its message.  You are all familiar with Ted Geisel’s style of writing…great to learn words that rhyme, add the rhythm and then the repetition and you have the perfect book for children. 

Sister Stencil (your stake leader, you all know her?) told me I could ask to switch with someone else but I actually like to talk about things I feel so firmly about.  So today’s Destiny class is Dr. Seuss (properly pronounced with a Z and rhyming with voice…ZOICE…now you’ve at least learned one new thing today) is from his Cat in the Hat book.   As I prepared for today I took another look at this book and altho I don’t like it any better I see that it is a reflection of life and the realities we must all deal with.  So let’s begin….
Do any of you watch a TV program called Perception?  I am always amazed at how the Lord seems to send me into directions which I have an assignment like this, and gives me more info.  In this show, Daniel is a college professor with some mental health issues. But on this day, he has greeted his students with a pop quiz.  He passes out the test booklet and the camera pans the class and the students flip through the pages.  But the last page, the camera shows us, has the answer sheet attached in everyone’s booklet.  The students are looking at each other and as a viewer you can guess what each one is thinking. But only one girl raises her hand and tells Daniel that there must be some mistake…that he’s included the answers.  AHA! Daniel says.  It’s no mistake.  I did it on purpose. 

From the next part I learned that fixed into our brains that Heavenly Father has given us (since He’s given us our wonderful bodies) is something called A COGNITIVE CONTROL MECHANISM.  This thing stops us from cheating.  There is something we know as IMPULSE and something else we know as SELF-CONTROL…and these two things together is called TEMPTATION.   When we exercise self control, we end up with stronger relationships, great success at work and at school, and better mental health.

(Now remember this today.  I never answer my own question so when I ask, I’m really expecting an answer).  SO…If it is better to resist temptation why do we always find it SO easy to give in?  Discussion.

Temptation is a huge thing!  CS Lewis, who is always being quoted by our church leaders altho he was not LDS, told us that we can only find the strength of a wind by walking against it, not by lying down.  So that is in part what I hope you learn to do today and every future today.

The sun did not shine.
It was too wet to play.
So we sat I the house
All that cold, cold, wet day.
I sat there with Sally,
We sat there, we two.
And I said, “How I wish
We had something to do.”
Too wet to go out
And too cold to play ball.
So we sat in the house,
We did nothing at all.
So all we could do was to
Sit!  Sit!  Sit! Sit!
And we did not like it.
Not one little bit.

Here’s the first big piece of information we need.  Be careful of how you use your alone time.  Have you ever noticed that when you are alone, doing nothing , that somehow you seem to get into more trouble, more difficulty?  My daughter commented to me (when I asked her about her thoughts on this book) this:  Temptation will find you at home when you are alone, guard against it.  And that’s pretty good advice.  This is not to say that every time you are alone I am saying you should be reading your scriptures or watching LDS videos. I AM saying that you need to keep finding things to do, to create, to work on, to keep busy.  Discussion

And then
Something went BUMP!
How that bump made us jump!
We looked!
Then we saw him step in on the mat!
We looked!~
And we saw him!
The Cat in the Hat!
And he said to us,
“Why do you sit there like that?”
“I know it is wet
And the sun is not sunny
But we can have
Lots of good fun that is funny!
I know some good games we could play…
 “I know some new tricks…
A lot of good  tricks.
I will show them to you.
Your mother will not mind at all if I do?
Then Sally and I
Did not know what to say.
Our mother was out of the house
For the day.”

And here we are…two kids alone, bored, doing nothing but staring out the window and no parent home.  But remember this: When Temptation knocks don’t answer the door.

Let’s discuss the War in Heaven.  Who can repeat the story?  Discussion and development of the story from what the girls might have left out.
In our premortal life, Lucifer had a grand position.  Does anyone know what his name meant?  It meant Light Bringer, or Light Carrier. But when he fell he became Satan.  In the Hebrew Satan means ADVERSARY.  So we learn a lot about this brother of ours.

So what did Satan promise? That no soul would be lost.
Did he love you enough to die for you?

But if all of us were there, and we all perfectly understood the Father’s plan, then why did some of those people , one third of the host of heaven we are told but 1/3 is only a way the Hebrews would express a vast quantity.  It’s not literal…so why did 1/3 of the host choose to follow Satan?

And again…do you see that is it EASY to cheat, to take the easy way.

So Satan promised us a fun life, promised us we could ALL return to Father.  He promised us bodies.  But how could he give us bodies when he didn’t have one himself? Whose body would he give his followers?  He could only give them OUR bodies when we give them the power to do so by choosing wrongly.  For all intents and purposes Satan and his legion are SQUATTERS.    I know about squatters.  We sold our home to a young couple who have since left the house and honest to goodness squatters live there. They don’t pay rent, they don’t pay for utilities.  And Satan and his legion are doing the same when you follow him.

Who remembers the story of the poor man during Christ’s time on earth, who was being besieged by evil spirits?  Discussion.  When Christ casts out the evil spirits, out from the man’s body, the spirits of those evil people went into a herd of swine and then where did they go?  Over the cliff!  ANOTHER THING TO REMEMBER ABOUT SATAN’S NAME AND HIS MISSION IS THAT HE IS THE DESTROYER!

James E. Faust:  Being acted upon means somebody else is pulling the strings.  As in a puppet. Show a marionette, pull the strings.  Watch out for people who try and pull your strings against the Lord’s wishes. Satan wants everyone to pull your strings, EXCEPT YOU!

Our First Presidency has said that Satan works under a perfect disguise and few recognize him.  It’s your job to start to recognize the things that come to you…if they be good or evil.
 But our fish said, “No! No!
Make that cat go away!
Tell that Cat in the Hat
You do NOT want to play.
He should not be here.
He should not be about,
He should not be here
When your mother is out!”

“Now! Now! Have no fear.
Have no fear!” said the cat.
“My tricks are not bad”
Said the Cat in the Hat.
“Why, we can have
Lots of good fun, if you wish,
With a game that I cal
Up-Up-Up with a fish.”

Show the pictures.  See how the cat is balancing the fish on the umbrella. Then he’s holding a book on his finger all the while balancing on a ball.

Who has ever tried to roll or sit on one of those large exercise ball?  How steady is that?  How many have fallen off that ball?

Satan’s kingdom is like that. That is not  a true foundation. 

Has any of your friends ever told you, “EVERYONE DOES IT…IF IT FEELS GOOD, OR LOOKS FUN THEN IT’S OK!"

Who knows that the word entice means?  Discussion.  The word entice means to lure.  How many have ever gone fishing?  Why do you bait the hook … (bait the fishing hook with a gummy worm).  Yes, if you’ve ever played fishing on a Wii, you know you gently move the pole back and forth til you feel a tug on the controller and hear a slight hum which tells you it’s time to pull out the rod with the fish for points.  But why don’t you want to go after this gummy worm? It is, after all, just a piece of candy?  Because it’s attached to the hook that has sharp points on it to entice and then ensnare the fish.  Some fish can get away but very few do.  Once hooked they become dinner.  That hook, small as it is, dangling from a nearly invisible line, is pretty powerful and is just like Satan is when we give him power.

Remove the gummy worm and attach a $20 bill to the hook.  Is this more tempting that a piece of candy?  Discussion of money and its uses, overtime, skipping church to work.

(Put the pole away)  But you aren’t just being tempted by one worm, or one $20.  (Take out the hat on which has been hung all the things that tempt us …money, gold, jewelry, music, DVDs, anything that glitters, skimpy clothes, a cigarette ad, etc…..YOU ARE BEING TEMPTED FROM ALL SIDES.


“look at me!
Look at me now! Said the cat.
With a cup and a cake
On the top of my hat!
I can hold up TWO books!
I can hold up the fish!
And a little toy Ship
And some milk on a dish!
I can hop up and down on the ball!
But that is not all

Discuss what each of those objects could represent in your life:  scriptures not read nor heeded, food not good for the body (Who is…lactose intolerate ones, gluton free, pnut allergies…  Why don’t you partake of these?  Discussion…make you ill.  These are your own person Word of Wisdom.  Boat=entertainment
It is fun to have fun
But you have to know how.
I can hold up the cup
And the milk and the cake!
I can hold up these books!
And the fish on the rake!
I can hold the toy ship
And a little toy man!
And look! With my tail
I can hold a red ran!
I can fan with the fan
As I hop on the ball!
But this is not all.
Oh, no.
That is not all.

So what do these new objects represent to you?  Discussion.  Food, beverages, could the rake be work and work ethics?  Little man=your friends.  Fan=leisure.  Still all the while balancing on that unsteady ball

That is what the cat said…
Then he fell on head!
He came down with a bump
From up there on the ball.
And Sally and I,
We saw ALL the things fall.
And that is what happens with Satan.  He will not sustain you nor support you.  How many of you have cats. Do they like to lie next to you, snuggle up to you when they want something?  And when they are done with you, what do they do?  Discussion.  They get up and leave you.

And all the while the fish is pointing out what he’s done and telling him to get out.  And just when we think the Cat is through, he arrives with something else.

But I like to be here.
Oh, I llike it a lot!
Sid the Cat in the Hat
To the fish in the pot.
I will NOT go away.
I do NOT wish to go!
And so, said the Cat in the hat,
So, So, so…
I will show you
Another good game that I know!

And what does he come in with next?  In the big red bos and came he calls Fun In a Box?
Discussion.  Thing one and Thing two.

Then, out of the box
Came Thing Two and Thing One!
And they ran to us fast.
They said, How do you do?
Would you like to shake hands
With Thing One and Thing Two.

Who remembers what the Lord tells us in Doctrine and Covenants about being able to tell the difference between the kinds of spirits?  Discussion  D&C 129:4–7. What Is the Significance of Shaking Hands?  If the messenger is a resurrected personage whose flesh one feels when shaking hands, the messenger is an angel from God. But spirits cannot clasp hands, since they do not have flesh and bones with which to do it. For spirits to pretend to an ability they do not possess would be deceit, and one who would attempt it would not be a “just man.” Therefore, the spirits of just men made perfect will not move when a hand is extended toward them.  If it be the devil as an angel of light, when you ask him to shake hands he will offer you his hand, and you will not feel anything; you may therefore detect him. These are three grand keys whereby you may know whether any administration is from God.

Now I am pretty sure that you probably won’t have to experience this sort of personal moment but you can apply it to the temptations that come into your life.  Look at the option or choice you need to make.  How does it make you feel?  Where is it leading you to think?  What will the outcome possibly be?  Are there any hangups?  Is there a worry?  Are you left feeling a bit odd, or disquieted?  Does it make you feel filled with joy and willing to share with your parents or your bishop?  This is good advice and one we all need to remember.

You know what happens then. Thing One and Thing Two have made a mess of the house flying a kite, knocking over furniture and pictures, even snagging the mom’s new polka dress.
Suddenly the fish (who by now you know represents the Holy Ghost) looks out the window and sees something that causes him to worry.

Then our fish said, Look! Look!
And our fish shook with fear.
Your mother is on her way home!
Do you hear?
Oh, what will she do to us?
What will she say?
Oh she will not like it
To find us this way!
So, DO something!  Fast! Said the fish.
Do you hear!
I saw her. Your mother!
Your mother is near!
So, as fast as you can,
Think of something to do!
You will have to get rid of
Thing One and Thing Two.

So Sally and her brother catch Thing One and Thing Two with a net but what does the Cat say?

Oh dear! Said the cat
You did not like our game…
Oh dear. What a shame!  What a shame!
What a shame!

The Cat boxes up the two Things and the kids try to figure out how in the world they are going to clean up their home that has been destroyed.  And the Cat, in this story, arrives with a huge machine to make everything right.
BUT KNOW THIS…When it comes to sin you might commit there’s no one else who can clean up the mess with some big machine.  When you need to repent and you WILL need to repent you will need to go through the process and the steps  will  often require great sorrow!  There is only one way to clean up our mistakes totally and that’s repenting as best as we can and then taking advantage of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  Discussion.  Satan will tell you, Ooops, there’s no hope of forgiveness and will want to you believe you can never be whole again.  Do not listen.  Your shield against him always is the spirit of discernment through the Holy Ghost.  Make use of this gift that you received at your baptism.  There are saving forces you can call upon.  The Covenants you have made at baptism and later in the temple.  The Everlasting principles you learn…and where do you learn them?  YW, FHE, SS.

I’m glad you mentioned SS.  I am sure you have heard about the Stay family who recently was killed by an uncle in Texas.  There were 5 children, 2 parents. But the oldest girl, Cassidy , was only wounded, she didn’t die.  She lay as if dead til her uncle left the house and then she managed to call 9-1-1 and alert the police that the uncle was headed to kill the rest of her family.  Her grandfather related the rest of this saga:  “Cassidy was able to tell us how she did it.  She had learned in Sunday School that God has the power to send angels to protect his children in times of great need.  After she had been shot on Wednesday, she said it felt as though angels were there with her, putting their hands over the mouth and whispering to her to be quiet.  ‘I was quiet when I needed to be quiet.’ she has told us.  We have wondered in the course of the past few days whether those angels might have been her brothers and sisters.”

THIS is why you attend SS and YW and listen to the lessons prepared for you by your faithful teachers as well as parents and other leaders.    They are put there to guide to you.  Always!

Now how does this book end?  By far it is my least favorite page.  Sally and her brother have returned to their chairs, in front of the window watching the rain with the goldfish in his bowl beside them.

Then our mother came in
And she said to us tow, Did you have any fun?
Tell me. What did you do?
And Sally and I did not know
What to say.
Should we tell her
The things that went on there that day?
Shold we tell her about it?
Now, what SHOULD we do?
What would YOU do
If your Mother asked you?

Discussion on need to share with your parents or your leaders or your bishop troubling times or events and get an adult’s advice.

Lastly I passed out the Goldfish necklaces.  We are told to not draw or depict images of the Savior, Heavenly Father or the Holy  Ghost so I’ve chosen to use the fish from this book to remind you.  This necklace is very light and you won’t even notice it hanging around your neck.  But that will be like the Holy Ghost.  Light and close to you as long as you strive to be obedient and not give into temptations.  He will usually NOT yell at you.  His will be a quiet voice.  A steady voice that could shake you to your very core if you will listen.


Sunday, July 06, 2014

Baby Trefethen has arrived


New Baby Trefethen has arrived today. 8 lbs, 12 oz, 20.5" long


Delivered naturally because she was too far along by the time she went to the hospital.  She had called me a bit before 11pm to say the contractions were 3 minutes apart but not hard at all.
Photo: I just made this baby, and I did it naturally bc, things. I don't want to talk about it.
Hank called about 30 minutes later to say her water broke and they were heading to the hospital so I drove there to relieve the neighbor Dave who was waiting for me.  The baby was born about 12:40am...and this is Ken Barlow's birthdate so it's a good memory day.

Photo: This boy is mellow. #coldchillin

Marissa is already teasing about his double chin. Bubba is insisting this IS Winston Churchill, only needing a cigar in his mouth.  His toes make the Victory sign already.

Welcome to the world, wee one.

After naps, we took the boys in to meet their new brother.  Henry was brave from the get go...

Oskar took a bit more convincing. but before we left Lakewood Hospital, Oskar was all about baby's eyes, nose, ears, etc.  Gently stroking him and they both kissed him good bye

Bubba holds his new grandson and so do I.  For being almost a bag of potatoes, this little one is so light.  It's amazing.


Not sure when Marissa will be coming home but I think the boys will be here til Tuesday.  I just hope they can stand being away from their mom/dad.  It's a bit odd for them.  At first it's a party and fun and games but when it sets in that they aren't with their parents, things could turn sour.  Oh, to keep these squirrely boys occupied.

For me, I am just grateful that they live this least for now.  It won't always be thus, I fear...and it hasn't been for the rest of my kids.  But times change.  Robert retires, our time is a bit free-er despite needing to care of my godparents, but boy, we do we feel our age.  This is why God gives the young parents the babes.  We old guys?  We just need to be taken care of. That is obvious...more each day, more each event.  How I wish it could have been this way for all my grands and my daughter/moms.  Big sigh here.  Just hope they all know how much I love them and wish it could have been different.

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